Good Morning from The Farm

I had just gone to sleep Monday evening when the phone rang. It startled me and I jumped up to get it. It was Mr. FixIt. He had gone out to look at the moon and heard a strange animal sound…really close. So he stood quietly and recorded it for me to hear. He didn’t know I was asleep or he would have waited till morning. But by then, of course…I was really awake. (You can listen here!)

With some research on the internet, we determined what he heard was most like a fox. We have seen them in the surrounding woods…lithe, red critters with dark socks and beady eyes. I ran into the neighbors across the road from the farm today and he agreed on the identification. Too high pitched for a coyote, he thinks.

The reason I didn’t feel great Monday night was an upsetting phone call. You know I have a brother who is developmentally disabled and he lives in an assisted living facility in the town where I lived in Colorado. He’s been there for nearly two decades and it has become the home of his heart. When I moved back to West Virginia, I offered to bring him with me, but he demurred. He said he was perfectly happy where he was. And his is. They love him there. He knows all of them. They’re like a big family.

When I saw the caller ID was his case manager, my heart sank. They wanted to let me know that my brother is slipping some and will soon need more assistance so they’re looking to place him in the group home where there is 24/7 supervision. We’ve talked about this for a couple of years as the next logical step. I’ve considered bringing him here, but we would have to start all over with attaining funding for him. And I think it would be harder on him to move him now. I’ll still check into it so I’ll have all my information at hand when we have his next evaluation.

The hardest thing is seeing him decline. My greatest fear is letting down those I love and depend on me. So, later in the night, I had a long heart-to-heart “talk” with my grandma. I was sleeping in her bed. I told her how afraid I was for my Bubby. And how guilty I feel that I don’t care for him at home like she did with one of her sons and like my mom did. I asked for her help and her strength to do what’s best for him. 

I honestly felt like I was with her for hours. I finally drifted off to sleep and when I woke up, I had a much more peaceful outlook. I know that whatever happens, I have given my Bubby a life like he’d never had the opportunity for when Mom was alive. He’s done amazing things and has learned to do the everyday living skills that Mom always did for him. He’s traveled on trips with groups that take the developmentally disabled on glorious vacations. He’s gone to Hawaii and taken a cruise to Catalina Island and even went to Mexico! He never could have done that had he stayed here in West Virginia. I just needed “permission” to cut myself some slack and know that I’m doing what’s best for him. I promised my mom that I would always see that he was taken care of.

Once I woke up and got my tea and a banana, I went out on the front porch to watch the world go by. I seldom keep a pair of the socks I make, but these are special because Gail gave me the yarn. Our temperature got up to 60° and it was delightful to sit out in the fresh air. After I saw the weather report, I decided to stay another night because they were predicting rain. I love the sound of the rain on the tin roof here at the farm. It soothes my soul.

I got a lot of work done on the computer the last three days. Then, just before dark, I heard a siren coming up the road. We don’t get much excitement out this way. It was the rescue truck and it was quickly followed by about four or five fire trucks, an ambulance, and several volunteer firefighters. I don’t have a scanner nor do the neighbors across the road. A friend of mine from high school lives on up the road in the direction the emergency vehicles were headed so I texted her.

She sent me a couple of photos of a fire on the ridge at the top of the hill. It looked like a brush fire that got out of control. About an hour later, she said she couldn’t see the flames anymore so they must have gotten it under control. With as wet an environment as we have here, you would think forest fires wouldn’t be very common. But we are more prone in the winter when the leaves are down and it gets dry. And it was windy yesterday. 

I’ll head home here in a little bit. Mr. FixIt has the hallway prepared to paint so that will be our job in the coming days. We have to strike when the iron’s hot and he feels up to doing a fixit job around the house. I’m looking forward to getting a few jobs done before mowing season.

?

“Tell these things to the people so that they will do the right thing in their extended family. Anyone who neglects to care for family members in need repudiates the faith. That’s worse than refusing to believe in the first place.”

1 Timothy 8 MSG