I went to a movie with my kids and grandkids on my birthday. While ordering the tickets at the window, my daughter asked for two adults, two kids, and a senior citizen. My head whipped around and she stared at me with a look that said “Uh-oh….she just realized she’s old!” Instead, I broke into a HUGE smile and started clapping. “You mean I get a senior discount now??? Score!!!”, pumping my fist in the air. She looked around to see if people were giving her pitiful glances because her mom was doing the Happy Dance in the theater lobby. Do I get a discount on that overpriced popcorn, too? I dunno…I forgot to ask. I was just so darned excited at all the possible discounts I can receive now. And girl, I’m gonna WORK that! lol

I received a friend request yesterday on my personal page. It was from someone I have known since 1986. She and I were very close. Our kids were best friends in school. When things went south in my second marriage and I nearly died of an overdose, our friendship was affected. As can be the case in many divorces, lines of loyalty were drawn in the sand and I lost out in the equation. It’s been 15 years and we have only spoken once. I have to admit, I sat there staring at her name in wonder. Why? Why now? How will this affect me? What does this mean? It didn’t take me long, however, to remember the story of the prodigal son and I hit “accept”. I posted on her page and told her how touched I was to receive a friend request from her. I commented on her post from the day before as she mentioned it would have been her 46th wedding anniversary that day. I told her I understood. I told her how, for me, grief is like walking through tall grass and stepping on a rake. The handle comes up and smacks you right between the eyes. And you never, ever know where that rake is or when the next step will trigger it. I told her how I admired her grace and poise and that I held a special place in my heart for her and her family all these years.

There are those who would have been offended by the friend request. There are those who would have said, “Screw her! She wasn’t there for you when you needed her the most!” But you know what? I wasn’t there for her either. She was angry. She was hurt. She was afraid for us all. When something like divorce and depression and overdoses hit friendships, it’s often too close to home and people run away to protect themselves. They run away because they don’t know what to say. It’s too hard to love both parties so they choose sides. That’s human nature. But the bottom line is this. I am a totally different woman than I was when she knew me. And so is she. A lot of time has passed. For me, I prefer to embrace the healing this will offer. There has been a sad spot in my heart since she left my life…a spot only she could fill. Last night, that spot got filled back in because I was offered an opportunity to practice grace. These ARE the glory days. These are the days we will look back upon and remember. I wish to remember that I did good things…that I stepped up to the plate…that I overlooked the slight of a friend, no matter how long it was, and that I was able to comfort her in her time of need. This was as much a gift to myself as it was to her. This is a beautiful thing.

❤

“The life of mortals is like grass, they flourish like a flower of the field; the wind blows over it and it is gone, and its place remembers it no more.”

Psalm 103:15-16