The idiom “Good fences make good neighbors.” generally means it’s easier to get along with your neighbor if you respect each other’s property. I think there is a deeper meaning we can grasp here. I look at “good fences” as boundaries….something I haven’t always been good at setting. Here I am…nearly 62 and I still am learning to set boundaries with people.

I was taught to “be nice” when I was growing up. I’ve made it a career. Apparently my parents knew nothing about boundaries either because the concept was totally foreign to me till after my second divorce. Somehow I got the message that setting boundaries isn’t “nice” and if you DO set boundaries, people might not like you. And to the child of an alcoholic, that’s a fate worse than death. I read self help books. I went to support groups. I had therapy. I prayed for enlightenment.

Things started changing for me when Mr. Virgo came along. He was my champion and celebrated my growth. He made me start to believe in myself. And once you start believing in yourself and gain self esteem, it’s easier to set boundaries with people. That, and age, has left me fearless in most respects.

Boundaries are the good fences that will keep the good neighbors in your life and help you let go of the bad ones without worrying that someone “won’t like you”. Because it only matters that YOU like you. If you do, the ones who matter will too.

❤

“Do not let them live in your land or they will cause you to sin against me, because the worship of their gods will certainly be a snare to you.”

Exodus 23:33