I used to think how horrific it was…how incredibly sad it was that Mr. Virgo died just three weeks shy of our 6th wedding anniversary. I mean…essentially, we were still newlyweds. We didn’t get to have those big anniversaries…10th, 20th. I was 53 when we married. Mr. Virgo Was 55 and smoked. The chances of us having a 30th wedding anniversary was slim to none. But I thought we’d have more time. We all think we’ll have more time.
I heard something over the weekend what broke my heart. A high school friend up and moved away last fall after building her dream house. Nothing much was said, just that she wanted to live near her son. Then, quite suddenly, with no fanfare, we got to see a beautiful wedding picture of her and the man of her dreams…her long time best friend who had been there for her and her family through thick and thin. It was a holiday wedding and my friend was wearing a gorgeous long white wedding dress. She is a tiny wisp of a thing and she looked so darling holding a beautiful bouquet of flowers. Her new husband, in his black suit and his jaunty red bow tie looked like a man with a kind, sweet face…obviously smitten with his “girl”. I was thrilled for my friend. She’s been alone a long time so it was heart warming to see her so happy.
Then, as I was scrolling through my Facebook feed the other day, I saw her post about the wedding and how they met and how long they’ve known each other. They started out as friends for a very long time before their love blossomed. And…she was so sad to report that they lost her handsome new husband the night before to cancer. I was shocked. I am so sad for her. Not only did she finally marry her very best friend, he up and died on her. It was three weeks. Three weeks. I am not privy to the details, but one would have to assume they knew he had cancer going in and wanted to be married. I can understand that. Another friend of mine had found the love of his life but he really didn’t want to get married again. Then she became terminally ill and he asked what he could do for her…name it, he’d do anything. She want to die with his name. So, he married her and she died a couple days later.
That is love, right there. That is super-human love and strength to go into the wedding, into the marriage, unsure how long it would be…knowing what they were facing. I admire their courage and their devotion to each other. The depth of their love. Heck, I admire anyone who loves enough to share their lives with each other…no matter what their health is. Because this whole thing is a crap shoot. Either one of you could be gone tomorrow. When I contemplate having another relationship, I wonder if I am strong enough to do it again. To give everything and then lose it all. And, while I certainly wouldn’t want to go through this again, I would with the right person. With the right true love. Because, I am a people person. I am a team player. I do better in even numbers. And I’m a total gush-ball romantic. Maybe one of these days, I’ll find another Mr. Wonderful. As sad as I am for my friend, I am so happy she got to be Mrs…even if it was just for three very short weeks. Prayers to you, dear one…my heart is with you in your loss. ❤️
“I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.”
Philippians 4:13 KJV
Hope is what moves us forward and having hope while facing such a loss is a sign of life! There are people who really want to LIVE and love without counting the cost! My prayers for your friend!!
We never know what the good LORD has in store for us.
Nearly seven years after a difficult divorce from a 17-year marriage, I am dating again the man I didn’t marry. My high school sweetheart. We’ve reconnected after he lost his wife last year. We came within days of marrying nearly 29 years ago but I had cold feet and valid reasons to run. We were 20 years old, and I called it off.
Now that we’re staring down 50 with vastly different life experiences in between, we agree it wouldn’t have worked back then. We don’t know if it will now. But I am so very thankful to have the opportunity to be with him again. I would never have wished the losses that got us here, but I hope we have time in front of us, how ever much it is.
I meant to add, neither plan to take this blessing for granted.
I’ve lost a husband, a father, a uncle and a brother all within 13 yrs. I’ve gotten remarried yet when death hits again and I’m still here..I’ll do it alone. My heart can’t take anymore . If God shows me differently…I’ll ask him to take me instead.
Mary…that is a lot to take in a relatively short period! I understand your request of God but only He knows the number of our days. I am happy you have found another life partner, dear one.
I lost my husband in 2008 and swore I would never get married again. After six years I did remarry after finding a wonderful man who totally swept me off my feet. Last September I almost lost him, but thank God he survived and Lord willing we will celebrate three years of marriage on March 1st. To me life is better being with someone who loves me as opposed to living alone. It was hard being alone. I was only 40 when I became a widow and that was hard to swallow and deal with. However, If the same thing was to happen now I don’t know that I would seek love again.
I know what you’re saying, Anna. Mr. Virgo was my third husband and, while I may never get married again in the legal sense, I am not opposed to falling in love again. I was only 59 when my husband died, I want a companion to share my life with. If that is God’s will…I’ll take it gladly. I can be alone, but I’m a better team player. ❤️