And….here it is. December! That glittery, glamorous, gaudy fun-filled extravaganza that helps us through the longest nights of the year. For most, it’s a tinsely time to cook up some really delicious treats, plan some really outrageous surprises, attend some really crazy parties. And, oh my gosh! Do we have the party mavens to show us how it’s done, or what? Martha Stewart is so perfect with her staff of thousands, creating color glossies of the PERFECT holiday with the PERFECT decor and the PERFECT gifts with the PERFECT food. All the Madison Avenue gurus have this whole thing carefully orchestrated. They have done the research. They know how to make us want what they have to sell. They know what buttons to push. They know you don’t want to feel like a failure because you didn’t carve your own ice sculpture or hand decorate five dozen sugar cookies for the church bazaar. So they give you every recipe. They give you detailed instructions for crafty things. They make it SO easy for us. And what happens when it’s over? We’re over-extended, over-budget, overweight, and overwhelmed. I know I probably ruined a lot of the magic of Christmas for my kids because I pointed out how the companies were just trying to manipulate them and trick them into buying their stuff.
I think one of the joys of being “of a certain age” is letting go of some of that holiday expectation. After all, it’s not our first rodeo. Once you’ve had sixty or so Christmases under your belt, your vision is a little clearer. Along with aging often comes a more fixed income and there isn’t a lot left over to do for the kids and grandkids like you used to. Grief can creep in and tug at your heart strings. Some of us want to make up for the loss of our spouse by giving the family a really nice holiday. Others may want to forget the whole thing and hope no one realizes it till it’s over. There is no right or wrong way…but I can give you some suggestions based on my personal experience.
1) Take it easy on yourself. No one expects from you what you expect from yourself. It’s not a magazine. It’s life. It’s real and messy and families fight and feelings get hurt and we kiss and make up. Or, we don’t. It’s life. What happens between January 1st and November 30th is far more important than what happens in December. Don’t sweat it so much.
2) Write everyone’s name down who you are recognizing with a gift. Write down how much you can afford to spend on each person. Stick to that. You can’t make your family feel its loss any less by buying things you can’t afford then adding the stress of debt in January. Better yet, choose an affordable amount and donate it to a local food pantry, or take the kids with you to purchase things for underprivileged kids. Let Santa and their parents buy their big stuff. My grandchildren are each getting a blanket that I made for them. They honestly don’t need more stuff. They need time with me.
3) Enlist a trusted friend to help you be accountable.
4) Get some regular exercise. Eat right. Get a good night’s sleep. Decision making skills are directly effected by good self care.
5) Stop buying those $&@# magazines. Ok…forget that. I bought two yesterday. Sigh. They’re just so darned pretty, aren’t they?
Well…Hello, December! Be gentle with me.
❤️
“But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.”
Matthew 6:3-4 NIV