You might think that with a blog named Little Blog of Positivity I’d be telling you ways to stop your negative thoughts and feelings.

Never one for going with what’s expected of me though, I’m not going to do that!

You might spend a lot of time beating yourself up over what you should and shouldn’t be doing. What you should and shouldn’t be thinking.

Maybe you go on a downward spiral of negative thoughts and feelings and then beat yourself up for that happening?

You feel angry at yourself. Why can’t you simply stop this from happening? After all type ‘how to stop negative thoughts’ into Google and a whole host of articles and books telling you how pop up.

No wonder we feel like failures when we can’t stop the negative thoughts.

Here’s the thing. It’s PERFECTLY NORMAL to have negative thoughts and feelings.

What you may not know is that human beings are wired this way. It’s built into our make up to look for threats and things which can go wrong. It’s what’s kept us safe for millennia! I’ll let you into a secret – YOU CAN’T STOP THEM!

A problem occurs when we believe our negative thoughts and think they are true. Struggling and fighting the negative thoughts and feelings doesn’t help either. It just makes you feel worse.

There IS A Better Way Than Fighting Negative Thoughts And Feelings

Instead of being hard on yourself for having negative thoughts and feelings, there is an alternative.

How about if you could SIMPLY NOTICE them and let them go without judging them or yourself?

No mind on earth with any kind of intelligence could spend a lifetime enjoying only happy thoughts. The key is in accepting your thoughts, all of them, even the bad ones. Accept thoughts, but don’t become them. – Matt Haig, Reasons To Stay Alive.

You might think this sounds easier said than done and yes, it does take a bit of practice, but there are a number of techniques you can try.

Here are my 3 favourite ones.

Leaves On A Stream

Sit somewhere quiet where you won’t be disturbed.

Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths.  Bring your attention to your breathing for a couple of minutes.

Then turn your attention to the thoughts in your mind.   Imagine you are sitting by a stream and there are a few leaves floating along it.  Whenever a thought pops into your mind, place it on a leaf and watch it float off down the stream.

If you notice you’ve got caught up in a thought (or a chain of thoughts) then turn your attention back to the leaves, put each thought on a leaf and watch it float away.

You can also try this with clouds in the sky instead of leaves on a stream.  I’ve found both work equally well!

Write Down And Then Challenge Your Negative Thoughts And Feelings

I find it particularly helpful to write in my journal when I’m caught in a negative spiral of thoughts and feelings.  What I do is to write down how I feel and what thoughts are coming up for me.

Don’t hold back at this stage, write it all out!

Then read back over what you’ve written.  If it is mainly feelings you have written down, try and pinpoint what thoughts are coming up for you that are leading to those feelings.

Once you have your thoughts noted down, ask yourself what evidence you have that they are true.  Oftentimes when you examine them, there will be very little evidence to support them!  And yet we tend to believe our thoughts.

Even if the thought is true, or partly true, ask yourself how useful it is.

The next step is to reframe the thoughts.  Try writing an alternative, more balanced thought down.  Or if the thought feels true and is still bothering you, ask yourself whether things are within your control.  And if so what actions you might be able to take.

Write it all down.

How do you feel now?  Hopefully calmer and with a sense of increased clarity.

Trains Passing By

Another helpful exercise to get you into the habit of simply noticing your thoughts is to imagine them as trains passing through a station.

Again, it’s a good idea to sit somewhere quiet to try this exercise.

Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths.

Then imagine you are on a station platform and trains are passing by.  As you notice a thought arise, imagine the thought getting onto a train which has pulled into the station.  Then watch as the train pulls away taking your thought with it.

You may notice that you’ve got on the train with the thought and have been carried off down the track.  This might happen often.  As soon as you notice, don’t beat yourself up but jump off the train (it’s alright it’s imaginary so you won’t get hurt!)

Return back to the station platform and carry on watching the trains.

How Do You Feel Now?

I hope that you’ve found these ideas and suggested exercises inspiring.

The next time an attack of negativity hits you, instead of beating yourself up I hope that you will remember reading this post and try out one of the exercises.  We’d love to hear how you get on.

Author Bio

Alison is the founder of The Little Blog Of Positivity where she shares all she has learned on the topics of personal growth, self improvement,  health and well-being.

For regular doses of inspiration and motivation, visit Alison at littleblogofpositivity.comYou can also connect with Alison on Twitter, Pinterest and Facebook