So, yesterday I mentioned that I went through the whole day Monday without remembering it would have been Mr. Virgo’s and my 7th Wedding Anniversary. Thanks to everyone who sent me love and sweet thoughts. Now that I’ve had a chance to think about it, I realize it is just another step in healing. I haven’t forgotten him. I’ve just been living this amazing life I’ve been given and I still take him with me wherever I go.

When I went out for my walk/run yesterday, I went from my house to the cemetery for the first time. When I travel in TOW-Wanda, I bring a rock back from each trip and place it around Mr. Virgo’s grave and tell him about my trip. I did that yesterday without thinking of our anniversary. It was only after getting to the office and seeing the calendar that I remembered. And I felt sadness wash over me.

But then something amazing happened. I’ve been reading The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer and have learned that “I” am not the thoughts, the voice chattering in my head. That voice of admonishment that chastised me for not remember on the day itself is not “me”. I remembered that “I”…the real “me”…sits back and observes that chatterbox. And really, what was the difference between the five minutes BEFORE I remembered and the five minutes AFTER? Only one thing…a tiny thought. I remembered. Everything else…the ensuing feeling of guilt…was nothing more than self judgement. Is anything really different after I remembered? Nope…he’s still gone. I’m still here. I’m still functioning and strong. I’m still standing. It may have taken me a few hours of rumination to work that thought through, but the point is…I DID work through it. I know HOW to work through it.

What an amazing revelation to know where “I” sit…to know who “I” am. Things will never be the same.