The switch is just beneath the surface. Say the wrong thing…hear the wrong song…and it doesn’t matter where you are, the tears can come unbidden. The other night my friend and I were chatting and got a little too close to her switch. She had to excuse herself. I felt bad because it was during our conversation, but it wasn’t my fault. It’s nobody’s fault when the tears of grief come. They just come. They are as easily triggered by a dog food commercial as they are by finding a love letter. There’s no rhyme or reason. And it doesn’t matter where you are either. Tears come in the shower, driving, seeing a sunset, or….walking down an aisle at the hardware store. The hardware store? Yes.

I was walking through Lowe’s on Veteran’s Day. The music playing was patriotic. John Philip Sousa marches. Hail to the Chief. Military songs. Peppy. Patriotic feel-good music. Then…Taps. Mr. Virgo was a veteran and they played Taps and there was a gun salute at his funeral. When the handsome young soldier knelt before me and handed me the flag from Mr. Virgo’s coffin and thanked me “On behalf of the President…” I was a puddle. I ducked in the power tool aisle, hoping no one would see me crying in Lowe’s. The next song floored me. In the middle of all these patriotic songs, “Fields of Gold” came on the PA. And not Sting’s version. It was Eva Cassidy. When Mr. Virgo and I were first dating, I burned a CD of some beautiful love songs and played them when he would come to my place for dinner. We later referred to that CD as our “falling in love soundtrack”. This version of “Fields of Gold” was on that CD. My heart overflowed as much as my eyes did. He still sends me messages. He still lets me know he’s with me. And I thank him and let him know I’m fine…really. It was just that switch, just beneath the surface, got flipped a little. <3