The view near Mr. Virgo’s gravesite.

I awoke at the first blush of dawn. The sky was gray and gloomy and a misty rain fell as the morning light slowly brought the hedgerow into focus. As has happened often the last couple week, my mind went into comparison mode. It seems my life has clearly delineated blocks of time as though I’ve actually lived several different lives. I suppose that is true to come extent for all of us. My major divisions, looking through the wide-angle lens that is 20/20, seem to be “before Mr. Virgo died”, “after Mr.Virgo died”, and…”now.” 

I’ve looked back over the time surrounding his death and remember some things so vividly. Others are a blur. The one thing I really remember is the week leading up to his death and the “messages” I kept getting. I had dreams of waking up to find him cold and dead beside my in the bed. I heard voices as clear as day saying, “This is what he’ll look like when he’s dead.” And finally…”He’s going to die today.” 

And…he did.

Anyone who has gone through such great loss knows the time following the death of a very close loved one knows your mind is gone…not to be trusted…nearly (if not totally) certifiable. It took me several years to rally into some vague form of who I was before. Never totally, but a little closer as the years went by. As I laid in bed yesterday morning, listening to the rain on the roof above me, I contemplated where I am today as opposed to ten years ago. 

When the light became bright enough to see around the room, I slipped out of bed and padded into the kitchen to put the kettle on. It was not quite 6:00am and Mr. FixIt was still quietly snoozing. I dressed and took my tea to the living room. I have always enjoyed the quiet time in the house before anyone else has awakened. It’s quiet and peaceful. I didn’t turn on the TV or the radio. I just sad in the Big Red Chair and listened to the birds chasing each other around the feeders just beyond the window in the family room while I sipped my tea.

Thursday had been quite a busy day and I decided we should just hang out at home and relax yesterday. I’m so glad we did. It felt so good to not have to be anywhere or do anything. I loved it so much, I may just do it again tomorrow. Although, I had a reminder in the mail. We received the invitation to one of the WV granddaughter’s wedding and I really MUST get back to that quilt top. I went over the “Big Project” yesterday with a fine toothed comb and I think I’m just about ready for the grand reveal. So now’s as good a time as any to get back to my sewing nook and get that quilt finished!

It’s pretty chilly here with a slight chance of flurries over the weekend. I can take it…I’ve seen the promise of spring. She’ll be back!

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“Let us know; let us press on to know the Lord; his going out is sure as the dawn; he will come to us as the showers, as the spring rains that water the earth.””

Hosea 6:3 ESV