I spent yesterday morning helping my aunt make pies for last night’s “Sing”. She used prepared pie crust for the very first time. She insisted she bake a scrap of it ahead of time because if it wasn’t “fit to eat” she was going to throw it out and make her own. Her tremor is so bad now, it is painful to watch her try to do the things we take for granted…beating egg whites, stirring filling as it cooks, rolling out crust. As I held the pan for her and she scraped the hot lemon filling into her crusts, she said “Well, this is my Waterloo. I may make pies for family, but these are the last for the Sings.” It hurt my heart a little to hear her recognize her limitations. She is such a proud woman. I told her that was just fine…she had done a good job all these years. Folks will understand. Still…passages. The endings that inevitably come. Those little steps…admissions…confessing the infirmities of age tug at your heart strings…whether they are from those you love or from your own lips. She is happy I am here. She was staring down the abyss…alone…as was I. We are two peas now, this wonderful, graceful, beautiful woman and I.

We lead a simple life here. I practice mindfulness…something I am convinced my aunt has done all her life as did her mother and her mother before her. When I do dishes, sweep floors, haul brush, I focus on the moment. When I do dishes, I am doing dishes. I am feeling the texture of the scrubber beneath my fingers, the warmth of the water, the lemony scent of the bubbles. When I sweep the floors, my focus is on the sound the broom makes as it crosses over linoleum. As I haul brush, I feel the weight of the branches in my hands, the crunch of the leaves as I cross to the brush pile, the chill of the wind as it brushes my cheeks. This makes work a meditation. It keeps life simple. How can we be here if we are there? There is a rhythm here that it has taken me awhile to feel. I had to slow down and be still. The rhythm is deep, quiet, redolent with the smell of the leaves and the whispers of souls passed. It is a source of wealth no bank account could ever fill. It is the essence of love. <3