I have written a post nearly every day for two years. I journal every day as well. I’ve written a 500+ page autobiography that’s being edited. I write poetry and children’s stories. I even co-authored a book for the National Institutes of Health. My first published work was in high school. Yet, I have only in the last year or so become confident in my writing and subsequently, my thinking. I owe a lot of that to you all and your amazing responses that you post here. You continually encourage me and I am very grateful to you.

I never really knew what I thought about things till I started reading what I write. I don’t know why that is. Maybe it’s from being the adult child of an alcoholic. Maybe it’s from ADHD. Maybe it’s a remnant of deferring to the men in my life to think the heavy thoughts for me and leave me to the simple things like getting the stains out of my laundry. I’m an intelligent woman. That part of my brain developed so why didn’t my self-confidence? Now that I make my own decisions, I’m learning by default what makes me tick. I’m learning by trial, and plenty of error, how to navigate adulthood. It constantly amazes me…and sometimes frustrates me…when I think I should have learned all this a long time ago. It’s never too late to learn, to grow, to change course, to know what you think. I’ve always trusted the baser instincts. I know how I feel…just not what I think. It’s a learning curve that’s actually exciting in a way.

I took a break from scanning photos yesterday. My step-mother has weighed heavy on my mind the last few weeks. We aren’t terribly close, but I always make it a point to drive the 45 minutes down to see her when I’m in West Virginia. I headed to town yesterday with every intention of going to the gym but the closer I got, the stronger the feeling became to go visit her. I usually find her at the senior center playing dominos with her buddies. However, the activity room was dark when I arrived. I went to the welcome desk and was not at all surprised to learn my step-mother has been in the nursing home for a month. It’s just next door so I headed over. She was sleeping soundly so I went to the nurses station. They assured me I could wake her and that she was doing much better than when she arrived. It seems she fell backwards when she was home alone and fractured her hip and pelvis. She awoke easily and we both enjoyed a lovely visit. I love it when God whispers to me telling me where I should go. The hardest part is to listen and follow instructions. I’m certainly glad I did yesterday.

❤

“A discerning person keeps wisdom in view, but a fool’s eyes wander to the ends of the earth.”

Proverbs 17:24