I’m sliding into seventy years on this earth. That’s a monumental milestone that is looming in my not to distant future. Six and a half months, to be exact. And, like I’ve done every other time I face a milestone, I’ve been getting quiet and introspective. In that introspection, I’ve been feeling a new awakening. A momentary clarity that shakes things up and makes me think…makes me ask questions. 

Am I being true to myself?

Am I on my path?

Will I complete my purpose in the short time I have left?

I mean, let’s be honest here…I have a lot more years behind me than I have in front. The end doesn’t scare me necessarily. I’m not in a hurry for it to get here, by any means…but, I’m not afraid. If there is any fear at all, it’s that I won’t finish what I came here to do….whatever that is.

I haven’t read much since Mr. Virgo died. I read the Bible. I read short stories like the news and current events and feel good things. But to sit down and read a book cover-to-cover…I haven’t done that in years. I don’t know if it’s because I don’t have the patience, or if I’m afraid of what I’ll discover about myself. Whatever it is, books…other people’s writings…haven’t really held my interest for a long time. 

I have a dear friend starting her third year of widowhood. She’s just heading into that year of self-discovery…of great personal growth…of figuring a lot of things out. I marvel her tenacity and strength. She’s a lot younger than I was at her point on the road. We were talking a couple of weeks ago. She went on a sabbatical in the desert southwest and took every tool she had with her. She told me she discovered a book that shook her to her core and I really needed to read it.

It’s a collection of lessons from many of today’s notable figures from various schools of thought…curated by Oprah Winfrey. People seem to either love Oprah or…not. Personally, I love her. I love her insights in the human condition. She asks the questions that interest me. She is well spoken, well educated, and has experienced enough hard knocks in life to soften her edges. I appreciate her for the work she does in the world. So, I ordered the book.

The Path Made Clear takes the reader into a series of “rooms” where sets of life lessons are presented. Each room covers a point on the path we all must walk in this life…from the “Seeds” of our early awakening to coming “Home.” I’ve been savoring it slowly, like someone sipping a 50 year old scotch…letting the richness and fullness of the spirit wash through me. It’s the first book I’ve been able to fully absorb and I’m loving it.

I feel as though my spirit has been dormant for a while…like I needed a break from “seeking” anything deeper than mowing the lawn and baking sourdough. My psyche needed a break…a place of rest that I have found with my dear Mr. FixIt. I’m feeling the stirrings of growth again. It’s hard to explain but it feels like a new phase of healing. I lost one of my dearest friends in the world on December 13th of last year. Maybe I’m just coming out of another fog of grief. Whatever it is, it seems ripe with potential.

We are faced with an entire week with nothing more on the schedule than the internet guy coming on Friday to check our service. I spent the day yesterday reading quietly with my headphones on, listening to a crackling fireplace. I took a break in the afternoon and made a couple of homemade turkey pot pies that are SO delicious. I knitted a little…I need to get this sweater completed so I can get back to the wedding quilt. I placed an order for some Christmas gifts. I’m sleeping better and eating better. I’m just….happy and content to see what’s coming our way as my sixties slip through the hourglass. 

I feel hopeful and that’s a lovely place to be.

?

“They are to do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous and ready to share, thus storing up treasure for themselves as a good foundation for the future, so that they may take hold of that which is truly life.”

1 Timothy 6:18-19 ESV