I used to love to do jigsaw puzzles. I had a table set up where I could spread out and enjoy solving it, piece by tiny piece. And each piece gave me more of the big picture. Life after the loss of your loved one is like a 1,000 piece puzzle with a ton of pieces missing. And sometimes they’re the critical ones…the ones that helped you identify what it is you’re shooting for.
When I lost Mr. Virgo, I did well to find the pieces with the straight edges. I couldn’t tell which end was up…or the top from the bottom. I picked up piece after piece and put them down. They were meaningless. My life was meaningless. But finally, I found a random piece that matched another random piece. I’d get a few pieces together and get stuck. So, I’d have to set them down and try a different pattern or color for a while.
I’ve been diligently placing pieces in this puzzle for nearly three years now. Sometimes I’ve thrown a handful on the floor, only to go pick them up and pray I didn’t lose any pieces. Sometimes I’ve had to stand up and walk away for awhile. But I always come back. I like the colors. The picture that’s developing is beginning to look familiar. I’ve been here before. And…the closer I get to solving the puzzle, the more glaringly obvious the missing pieces become.
One missing piece…besides losing Mr. Virgo himself…one HUGE missing piece is hugs. Gosh, I miss hugs. Oh, don’t get me wrong…I hug, a LOT! I hug everybody. But, there are hugs. Then there are ……HUGS. A hug has to last at least 20 seconds to release the feel-good hormones. I’m afraid most of my friends would feel awkward after two or three seconds. I’m a pretty darned self sufficient girl, but I can’t provide my own hugs!
How about you? What parts of your puzzle, besides your loved one, are you missing most? ❤️
“You, Lord, hear the desire of the afflicted; you encourage them, and you listen to their cry,” Psalm 10:17 NIV
Aww…
Hugs are so healing and powerful. I’m a hugger. I always missed that part of my puzzle. As you said, anyone can give you a hug. But few of them can give you a real HUG❤
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You are amazing. First, whether we admit it, grief comes in all shapes like a puzzle piece. When we reconnected and became friends on FB and beyond– I wanted to be a part of Marshmallow Ranch. But I hadn’t experienced grief…or so I thought. Thank you for your blog. Life is so good and when I see you…you better give me a long hug!
You bet! Let’s get together this week for sure…and coffee Saturday! ❤️
I so understand that lack of hug feeling. I remember feeling “recharged” when I got a good hug.
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I understand. Although not the same as having a partner or children to care for, a psychologist patient of mine told me I missed nurturing as well as touch and encouraged me to go ahead with plans to get a dog . I really wanted to do this but was hesitant. My last dog had to be put down 2 years ago. This has been the best thing for me. She cuddles up with me in bed and I can feel myself relax when I pet her. Although she complicates my life as far as traveling, I’m so glad everyday to have her beside me. She doesn’t mind those long hugs!
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I’m definitely missing Don’s big bear hugs as well as his “Have I told you today that I love you”? His laugh, his smile, his touch, –pretty much every piece of the puzzle!
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I too miss my Buds hugs. He would hold me close for the longest time and say “you will never know how much I love you”. But I did know. I miss him desperately and just touching him. For no particular reason today is a difficult day.
There doesn’t really need to be a reason, does there? We feel what we feel. Sending love and light, dear one! ❤️
Oh the hugs……burying my face into his hairy chest (ummmmmm sorry,,but I Love(d) that chest) and breathing in his scent……I fall sleep, hugging one of his shirts,,,the scent long gone ?
Our love and longing never goes away, does it? Sending love and light, Linda. ❤️