Ever since I told you about Lehman’s Hardware a few weeks ago, I’ve been itching to make the two hour drive to go see it. I was all set to go today as it is supposed to rain, but last night I told Mr. FixIt I would rather stay home and enjoy the fruits of our labors this week. It took three days to do all the mowing...and that was three long days. I finally finished last evening but I wasn’t done yet.
When Mr. FixIt had his first stroke in February, It was cold and we spent the next few weeks curled up in our respective recliners binge-watching the entire seven years of West Wing. I baked and cooked and tried out new things. We started mowing again in April, then he had his second stroke on May 16th. This time, there aren’t long days baking pies and watching good shows. Now there’s mowing and trying to keep up with the housework and garden and PT and doctor’s appointments. I don’t mind a bit doing whatever I need to do to help my sweetheart. I’d just like to have one kinda slow day.
As you know, yesterday was Memorial Day.
We are surrounded by so much death and dying this year that it’s easy to lump it all into one basket. There are days to thank veterans and days to remember mothers and fathers. We memorialize 9/11 and undoubtedly, when this pandemic has passed, there will be some commemorative date to remember those who died from Covid. But, this is the day we traditionally remember those veterans who died while serving their country.
A few years ago, a clerk at the swimming pool supply store gave Mr. FixIt a handy dandy little trick to keep from having to empty so much water from the pool in the winter. It was supposed to keep the skimmer from freezing. Unfortunately, it didn’t work and the skimmer cracked. Being the frugal fixit man my husband is, he managed to jury rig the whole thing and get another four years use out of it. He’s a smart man. But, alas...the time came when we couldn’t keep it together with spit and glue anymore and we bit the bullet. We bought a new one.
In the harshness of the covid pandemic, the news and social media is constantly abuzz with the the latest numbers and the most current predictions and the total reversal of recommendations. It’s enough to make your head spin. I know mine has been. I’ve been thinking about the curveballs life has been throwing at us this year and I can’t help but think all the tough times I’ve experienced in my life have been training me for this.
Hokey Smokes! It has rained 20 inches so far this year in our neck of the woods. We waited all day yesterday to get enough warm sunshine to dry out the yard so we could mow one more time before my step-son comes to get his riding mower today. Mr. FixIt had physical therapy and we needed to find a couple things for the old tractor to work on it today. By the time we got back home, the skies opened up again and we were back to square one.
Did you see that movie...Groundhog Day? I don’t think I ever did, but I know the premise. Each day repeats itself over and over and over. Sound familiar? There is nothing good about having a stroke. Nothing. But...it has added a new dimension of things to do in a day. Some things you never thought about doing. Others are just added tasks and stops and appointments.
Yeah...that’s not something you’re liable to hear or feel these days, is it? There’s a lot to take in. Lots going on...outside and inside. Add “your husband’s had another stroke” to an already formidable situation and it’s enough to break you. I’ve vacillated the last 48 hours between numbness and fear to acceptance and peace. Back and forth. Back and forth. It’s like that game we played when we were kids. What was it called? Crack the Whip! The kid on the end usually got creamed. That was me.
It seems like every little event needs counting now. Days since the lockdown began. Days since Mr. FixIt’s first stroke. Days since the second...which is actually the third since he was unaware of the first one. Thankfully, he came home from the hospital yesterday at 11:00. I can already tell this time it’s going to be more of a challenge getting him to slow down and take care of himself. I’m just as stubborn as he is though...I will prevail!
Days of unexpected loss. We all get them. We never know when the next one will strike. Yesterday was just such a day. We started out the day with another trip to the Emergency Room for what appears to be another small stroke for my beloved Mr. FixIt. I had a taste of what if feels like for those desperately frightened family members who drop their loved ones off at the ER door then drive off. Or, in my case...drive to the parking lot and sit. All day.