It isn’t always easy to do a do-over...those moments where life throws you a king sized curve ball and you get to reinvent yourself. There were the divorces. The overdose. Mr. Virgo’s death. The move to WV. Marrying Mr. FixIt. And now...coronavirus has sent us into timeout giving us the opportunity to rethink some things. There are very few things I actually regret doing in my life. But every single time I’ve had to rebuild or rethink has been an incredible time of personal growth.
Princess Pumpkin holds court on the deck while we gaze with pride at the garden!
We have really been sticking close to home...a huge change for us. We usually make several trips to town every week but we are limiting it to no more than one. Of course, that means it’s a longer trip so we can do everything that needs doing. It’s mundane stuff...kitty litter, bird seed, prescriptions, post office, and the pool store to get chemicals during their yearly sale.
A good coat of water repellant is a reminder of personal protective equipment and our heroes who wear them.
I have to admit, I wasn’t doing so great on Sunday. I had what I used to call a “pity party” in my self-denigration days. Now I know I was having a healthy release of pent up emotions that was perfectly understandable and acceptable. I allow that in these richer, riper years. I wish I could have been easier on myself when I was younger but better late than never, right?
Like everyone else, we’re doing a lot of hanging out here at The Ponderosa. Mowing season has begun. We’re getting projects done and making plans for others. The few times we have ventured out have been masked forays into uncrowded stores for a quick purchase. We only have a few shops in the tiny town on the other side of the hill. Piggly Wiggly and Dollar General are the bigger ones.
We are all caught in the same storm...but not in the same boat.
Let me preface this by stating this is not an original thought. I mean, really...IS there such a thing anymore? No, I read something yesterday on Facebook that someone forwarded. It was attributed to an “Unknown Author” so, who knows? If you wrote it or know for certain who did, let me know so I can give credit where credit is due.
The gorgeous woods of Beaver Creek State Park bring me back at least twice a year.
You can ask anyone who knows me...especially my sweet hubby...CHANGE is my middle name. I can roll with the punches like the best of them. I can adapt, adjust, regroup, reform, revise, diversify, shift, twist, transform, remodel, and steer in a whole new direction. I’ve made myself over so many times, I am unrecognizable to those who’ve known me longest. But there comes a point where it gets “purt near impossible” as my grandma used to say...even for a flexible person like me.
Quintessential spring...a robin’s nest with two sky blue eggs.
We were supposed to leave today for the Outer Banks. For most people, this is a disappointment and an inconvenience to reschedule. For Mr. FixIt, it’s really hard to take. He has been going to the OBX every year since he was five...except for one. The Outer Banks is, obviously, his favorite place in the whole world. He has been uber excited ever since we got the the time share there. It meant we had a great place to stay and it’s booked the same time every year.
Mr. FixIt and I have been watching the weather reports very carefully the last week. We needed to get out to the farm to mow so we have been waiting for a dry, sunny day. Yesterday and today both were forecast to be beautiful, but...there was a 60% chance of rain last night. The ground at the farm is very soft and since it’s in a holler, it just doesn’t dry out very well. A heavy riding mower could easily tear up the lawn if we weren’t careful so we decided to go yesterday.
Since we’ve been on the topic of mental health, we might as well broach one of the biggest crazy-makers there is. Cognitive Dissonance. I am not an expert, but I have a general understanding of this psychological concept. And it’s something that actually hurts my brain.
It takes all kinds to make the world go ‘round. If we were all alike it would be a pretty boring world. There was a time in the not so distant past that people disagreed with each other...usually in politics or religion...and could still practice civil discourse without going off the rails in a temper tantrum. There was a time when civility and grace was a valued character trait.
I’ve gone through a lot of therapy in my life. I have struggled with depression, anxiety, and the substance abuse of self-medication. I’m a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and the progeny of a dysfunctional alcoholic father. I haven’t always selected the best relationships and I’ve made a thousand and one critical errors of judgement. My life has been messy and I’ve hurt a lot of people along the way. But, I’ve had a boatload of therapy and then I finally listened to the knock on my heart and let Jesus into my life to perform the most amazing miracle in an instant.
