“The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:17-18 NIV
We had a good discussion here yesterday about downsizing...a topic near and dear to my heart and one not everyone is interested in. I get that. We like our stuff...it brings back memories, it is proof of what we worked for. But, what do we do with HIS stuff? If you’ve watch any rom/com, you’ll see women throwing the guys stuff out the upstairs window and burning it on the lawn if infidelity or divorce are involved. While I don’t necessarily recommend that, I can see how it would be cathartic. Usually the man takes care of his own stuff in a breakup. That can’t happen when death is involved.
When I was newly widowed, I walked in a daze for weeks. I couldn’t imagine going through Mr. Virgo’s stuff and getting rid of anything. I would often stand in his closet, wrap myself in his clothes that smelled of leather and tobacco and Halston and woods. I grieved to my very core, holding onto the last things he touched. I did this for a few weeks. Then I took off in my little camper for three months.
“a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away,” Ecclesiastes 3:6 NIV
This stuff was out of sight, out of mind for much of the last three years. My very sweet friend, Steve, let me store this in his basement. He seldom went down there, it was clean and dry, and it was safe and secure. On occasion, I would go over and gather a few boxes and bring them to the farm. Winter clothes, camping gear, important papers, pictures...little by little, things were sorted and either saved or sent on to live with someone else via a charitable organization.
Steve was never in a hurry to reclaim the space I was using because, as a widower, he didn’t have any more enthusiasm for going through things than I did. Over the years, his kids have brought things to store and the basement became more and more crowded and cluttered. Last Christmas was the straw that broke the camel’s back when he had to crawl over things to get to his outdoor decorations. We agreed I would have everything out this summer. As you know, summers are so hot and sticky in West Virginia. And I traveled a lot. And I had surgery. And Steve works weird hours. One thing led to another and I didn’t get it done. I promised everything would be out by the end of August.
““My heart pounds as I think of this. It trembles within me. Listen carefully to the thunder of God’s voice as it rolls from his mouth. It rolls across the heavens, and his lightning flashes in every direction. Then comes the roaring of the thunder— the tremendous voice of his majesty. He does not restrain it when he speaks. God’s voice is glorious in the thunder. We can’t even imagine the greatness of his power.” Job 37:1-5 NLT
The heat and humidity in West Virginia raises the heat index and brings us these amazing thunderstorms. It’s one of the things I always missed in Colorado. Oh, you get storms there...sure. But they don’t sound the same as storms in the rolling hills. There is an echo you just don’t get out west. And I love it!
The last couple of days we have been moving some boxes of my “stuff” from my friend Steve’s basement. We got the last load moved yesterday. Good thing, because it rained last night and we would have had to carry these heavy boxes up a hill instead of driving the truck down to the back of Steve’s house. That’s one thing about lawns here. If they’re wet, you sink down in them.
““Look at the lilies and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. And if God cares so wonderfully for flowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?” Luke 12:27-28 NLT
It has been over a century since Georgia O’Keeffe first showed her art in New York. Her floral studies look as though you are viewing a delicate flower under a microscope. The languid curves and soft focus give an ethereal beauty to mother nature’s treasures.
In 1918, society was absolutely dominated by conservative men. There were few female artists…and none like Ms. O’Keeffe. Her art was interpreted as portraying the female genitalia. She spent the next six decades denying this vehemently. They were merely studies of flowers. However, I can certainly understand why there was this…misunderstanding.
“Let all that I am praise the Lord; may I never forget the good things he does for me. He forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases.” Psalms 103:2-3 NLT
My “allergies” turned into a full fledged cold yesterday. That didn’t stop me. We had to pick up two loads of my “stuff” from my friend Steve’s house and take it out to the farm. We had a chiropractor appointment first. Then a couple of errands. Then picking up the stuff.
When I made the decision to sell my house, downsized 95% of my personal belongings, and move halfway across the country, it had literally whittled my possessions down to what I felt was the bare necessities. When things went south with my aunt on the farm, I needed to leave and couldn’t take my stuff with me. Enter my dear friend, Mr. Steve. His wife and I were friends in school. She passed away not too long before I moved to WV. When Steve learned I didn’t have anyplace to put my stuff, he suggested I leave it in his basement. That was four years ago. He needs his space back. And I need to face another 5% of stuff and figure out if I need it or not.
“The time is coming when everything that is covered up will be revealed, and all that is secret will be made known to all. Whatever you have said in the dark will be heard in the light, and what you have whispered behind closed doors will be shouted from the housetops for all to hear!” Luke 12:2-3 NLT
My iPhone scares me. It’s learning stuff. I have it set to “Do Not Disturb” so I won’t be tempted to read an incoming text while I’m driving. I programmed a whole contact list into my phone once while driving to Utah. Granted, there wasn’t any traffic and nothing to see on that desolate stretch of highway, but that was just plain stupid. I’ve learned a lot since then. But, then again...so has my phone!
Along with the “Do Not Disturb” message comes an estimated time of arrival at my destination. And how does my phone know where I am, you ask? I wondered the same thing, so I did some searching.
“Good people leave an inheritance to their grandchildren...” Proverbs 13:22 NLT
*****Disclaimer: I removed a blatant political comment from a reader. For one, because we don’t discuss politics here. I am not rewarding that kind of negativity with a response. I am not making a political statement by honoring Senator McCain. I am honoring a man who was a devoted family man...a husband, father, friend. I am honoring a soldier, like Mr. Virgo. I am remembering the sacrifices he made for this country....sitting in a Vietnamese prison as a POW, for one. I may not have always agreed with his politics, but I can still honor a man who reached across the aisles.
And lastly, the comment included a slur that I will not ever tolerate on this page. The “r” word. There is no place for that here.
“For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.” Ecclesiastes 3:1 NLT
We had to mow at the farm yesterday. The growth of the grass has slowed down a bit here in West Virginia. We’re back to once a week now instead of every four days. I stripped the bed and did laundry between my turns on the mower. If we tag team, neither one of us get overheated.
When we arrived, they were working on the road right in front of the house. What a mess. Now when the traffic goes by, huge white clouds of dust rise up and billow over everything. It was so bad you could taste it. The only upside…and it is a stretch to find any upside in this situation…the only upside is, the cars and 4-wheelers can no longer fly up the straight stretch in front of the house. I’m always afraid one of those 4-wheelers is going to roll and kill the rider. No helmet at fifty miles per hour. Oy!
“Give us this day our daily bread.” Matthew 6:11 KJV
Remember when you were a kid and summer stretched out before you like an endless ocean of fun? I do. We played all over the neighborhood from morning till dusk when the street lights came on. Then you could still be outside playing for a while but you had to be out in front of the house. Finally, mom would call us in and we would drag our seriously sunburned and mosquito bitten bodies in for a much needed bath. If we were really good, we got milk and cookies or a bowl of ice cream before bed.
Even though I didn’t own a calendar and I never really payed much attention to time, I always knew when summer was drawing to a close. You could hear the loud “whee-oh-whee-oh-whee-oh” of the cicadas droning in every tree in the neighborhood. There is a constant serenade of night noises in the summer in West Virginia. Our climate is bug heaven. But it was the cicadas, or locusts, that were the harbinger of fall. As we drove around town last night, we heard their incessant buzzing every time we passed a tree. I cannot hear them without having that same back-to-school cozy feeling I got when I was a kid.
“The Lord examines the righteous, but the wicked, those who love violence, he hates with a passion.” Psalm 11:5 NIV
One would think, after nearly five-and-a-half years as a widow, I wouldn’t still be gaining insights into the nature of grief. After all, I’ve written nearly 2,000 daily essays...many dealing with the subjects of death and dying. I’ve passed many milestones. I’ve fallen in love again. Yet, it never ceases to amaze me when I get to peel back another layer and learn something about myself through the lens of loss.
Before Mr. Virgo died, I never really thought about death…not on the daily anyway. I had certainly dealt with loss. My beloved grandma, my wonderful mom, and even my estranged father. Still, those losses didn’t put death in my sights. Since his death, however, the prospect of losing someone so close to me again has caused me a great deal of anxiety and a fair amount of fear. Early on, there were so many times when I felt I was just one crisis from losing it completely and my prayer was always, “Lord, please keep everyone safe. I can’t lose another one. I don’t have it in me.” I remember telling people I loved to be extra careful. Don’t get hurt. What I was really saying was, “Please, don’t die.”
“Mr. Virgo dressed for the Ritz Carlton.”
“All that’s left of forty year’s accumulation.”
“Lightning over West Virginia”
“Music Pink and Blue” by Georgia O’Keeffe
just when I thought it was allergies…it’s a cold.
“My iPhone is learning!”
“Senator John McCain 1936-2018”
“The farm cats chilling out on my picnic table.”
“Picnic in the park…it’s date night!”
“Sunset over the Ponderosa.”