“Toxicity” by Ginny McKinney
“People tell you who they are, but we ignore it because we want them to be who we want them to be.” Mad Men ~ Don Draper
Ok, show of hands…how many of you have been in toxic relationships? Ahhhh, yes…I thought so. Almost all of you nodded your heads and said, “Yep!” I have been in more than one. They don’t feel good. They are crazy-making. And, they are avoidable but you really have to have your eyes open to see them!
I was fiddling around yesterday hooking up my new printer and computer when I received a text from an old friend. Cindy lived in the flat below me when Hubby #1 and I lived in England in the early ’70s. We’ve stayed in touch all these years and although we don’t get to see each other very often, we will always be close. We were young and so very far away from home and we became “family”.
“Winter Flooding in West Virginia” by Ginny McKinney
It all started innocently enough. It was going to rain and I was heading to town soon. As I jumped in the shower, I called out to Mr. FixIt.
“Honey…would you mind grabbing my umbrella out of the truck?”
When I got dressed and was heading out the door, I looked around. My umbrella wasn’t there. I asked if he had gotten it for me and Mr. FixIt said no. There was an umbrella there by the door. Now, it was a perfectly good umbrella. One that, you know, keeps rain off of you. But I wanted MY umbrella and I felt Mr. FixIt had made a decision for me. I didn’t like it.
“Belpre Bridge” by Ginny McKinney
Yesterday morning was sunny and warm. By warm, I mean 47. As in…above freezing! And by afternoon it was 72 degrees according to the thermometer on my truck. swoon I haven’t felt this warm since sometime back in September. It was downright balmy out there!
Mr. FixIt and I had errands to run yesterday and he asked me mid-day what I’d like for lunch. My go to favorite? The Southwest Grilled Chicken Salad with Fat Free Honey Mustard Dressing from Chik-fil-A! And my go to favorite place to eat it? Point Park in Parkersburg. I wanted to watch the ice floes out on the Ohio River. Yesterday, there were three Blue Herons and a bunch of Seagulls sitting out on the ice. I believe two gents were trying to woo the same lady heron because one kept shooing off the interloper. Said lady was having none of it and kept flying away from Mr. Romance.
“The Bent Reed” by Ginny McKinney
A lot of people are struggling right now. I don’t know what it is about January. Sure, there’s the let down after the holidays. There’s the long, dark nights. There’s the bitterly cold, grey days. But there’s more than that. There’s a lot of loss.
I have friends who are dealing with very serious health issues…either of their own or members of their immediate family. I get prayer requests daily…from multiple people. Disasters, accidents, illness, death. Add this on top of the usual slump of January and it can send you down in a spiral in a hurry.
The sun! Ok, it was out for less than fifteen minutes at the farm today…but, oh! What a divine fifteen minutes that was!!! Ok, that is what is the hardest thing about living in the Mid-Ohio Valley as opposed to the Roaring Fork Valley. There is far less sunshine here. The sky stays grey for weeks at a time. When the snow finally comes, it stays till we can get a welcome respite of sunshine and warmth like yesterday, today, and tomorrow. Tomorrow is predicted to get up to 63 degrees! I will take that any day over the bitter, frigid weather we’ve had for the last few weeks.
I am so grateful for the little breaks we get in the winter. After what seems like weeks, the thermometer crept up above freezing yesterday! It was amazing. There was an ice/snow storm that swept through before dawn so schools were closed here…again. I have been talking with friends my age lately and we remember the “good old days” when girls were NOT allowed to wear pants to school. I rode the school bus. We couldn’t afford snow boots. We were lucky to have a semi-decent coat and a scarf and mittens. I remember walking to the bus stop in penny loafers and knee socks, my feet wet and freezing, the skin on my knees white and hard. My face hurt. I couldn’t talk. My nostrils would freeze shut. And that was just getting TO the bus stop. Once we got there, we would huddle together in a circle facing inward, trying to ward off the icy wind blowing in off the Ohio River. Now? Now if there is a remote chance there will be any snow on the road, school is closed for the following day. Kids miss a ton of school and have to make it up at the end of the school year.
Our babies were just wee ones when we met. We were taking a sewing class together which really turned out to be twice a week therapy for busy moms to vent and create something beautiful. Sue took my breath away. Tall and slender with that long, thick, full-bodied hair those of us with baby fine strands drool over, she embodied the earth mother I so desperately wanted to be. We became fast friends. We got together and had tea. We hiked. We stitched and b****ed our way through our children’s youth. We were soccer moms. And, even though we were several years apart in age, we had so much in common.
Epiphany
Epiphany; noun: plural noun: epiphanies
A) the manifestation of Christ to the Gentiles as represented by the Magi (Matthew 2:1–12).
B) the festival commemorating the Epiphany on January 6.
C) a manifestation of a divine or supernatural being.
D) a moment of sudden revelation or insight.
Yesterday was Epiphany. Traditionally, it marks the end of the Christmas Season. The day the Three Wise Men visited the baby Jesus and bestowed their gifts to Him.
The nature of my writing has grown with the changes I have gone through on my grief journey. Early on, it was so incredibly painful to even try to put words together to express my pain. I understood for the first time how God could hear our prayers when all we can manage are groans. Once the words started, it was like releasing a torrent. My pain literally fell onto the pages and it was emotionally exhausting…for me, and for you as well. The release was cathartic. The more I let it go, the more my heart healed.