I read the other day that the most depressing day of the year is January 16th. Their reasoning is, it’s dark and cold, the holiday fun is over, but the bills for that fun are coming in. If I can’t pay cash for it, I don’t buy it unless it’s something emergent, so I don’t have increased bills coming in mid-January. Still, I can see where they’re coming from. I think that’s one reason we leave our lights up till Valentine’s Day.

One thing that has certainly changed since Mr. Virgo’s death is my perceptions. Life itself is finite and the veil is so thin. You’re here. Then you aren’t here. When that reality actually sinks in…when it’s been someone who means the world to you…you will never, ever see life the the same way. It’s inescapable.

I stumbled across this meme the other day and knew I needed to use it in one of my blog posts. It’s true…if you chase after butterflies, they’ll fly away. But if you build a beautiful Butterfly Garden, the butterflies come to you. Attract what you want…don’t chase it.

This was a big a-hah moment for me. For years, I’ve been chasing success. What is success in the blogosphere? Well, some would say the number of followers you have. That’s part of it. Some would say a good indication of success is financial. That’s true, too. Doing something you love while helping people is a HUGE part of it. For me…my primary goal is to spread the light God so generously gave me with others. To help them navigate the rough bumps in the road of life. To let people know they are not alone.

See the sparse trees with the dusty pinkish gold leaves? Those are Beech Trees and this time of year, they really stand out in the woods against the dark wet background. I call them ”The Dusty Pink Ladies” as they dance around beneath the towering deciduous forest.

What an incredible day it was yesterday! I didn’t sleep well either night I stayed at the farm because it was just way too hot. That old drafty house is either too hot or too cold. I even had the bedroom window open. Sometime in the night I got up and when I came back to bed, I forgot to shut the bathroom door. There is a small vent free gas stove in there and man, did it ever heat up the bedroom. And once I woke up, I was done. I stayed awake the rest of the night and finally got up around 7:00. 

Oh…the soothing sound of rain on the tin roof! The smell of old wood and home. The feeling of love around every corner. This old house is like a great big hug and it makes me smile. I was up pretty early and made pancakes and tea for breakfast. I needed to pull some things together on my laptop and what I thoroughly expected to only take a couple of hours ended up being an all day chore.

Guess where I am???

OMGosh, y’all…I had my last appointment with the endocrine surgeon yesterday morning and received such good news. My numbers are now in the normal range!!! That means my second surgery was a success. I thought it must be improved because I’ve been feeling much better the last six months. I no longer feel the deep bone pain I had before. And, as my sweet husband can attest…I’m no longer Miss Cranky Pants! I don’t need to see Dr. Phay again unless something comes up. He said while it IS possible one of the remaining glands may give me trouble in the future, it’s not very likely. Thank you, Jesus and Dr. Phay!!!

I imagine I’ll be waxing poetic in the coming months as I close out my 60’s and turn 70 in June. I’ve been browsing old family photos of late, reminiscing and missing family members long since passed. I haven’t spent any time out at the farm since early December so I think it’s about time to get out there for a little R&R. 

I awoke before Mr. FixIt and went into the kitchen to make my tea. As I walked into the family room with my steamy mug of my “not coffee”, I heard a racket over by the window. There was a Tufted Titmouse pitching a fit as soon as I walked into the room. It would go into the clear plexiglas feed and peck around for a little bit, then it started pecking the window and squawking like crazy. It fluttered around, grabbing on the window frame then flit back over to the top of the feeder. 

I needed to get my blood drawn yesterday for my followup Tuesday with the Endocrine Surgeon who did my parathyroidectomy last February. This will quite likely be my last appointment with him and I’ll be discharged from his care. I drove in early for the blood draw, then ran a few errands and headed home. If I just drove there and straight back, it’s about a ninety minute roundtrip.

It was a cold yet beautiful day. The sky was azure blue with occasional white puffy clouds. Everyone left for the day…my daughter to school, her daddy to work at the hospital. I’m not sure what I did that day other than what I had been doing for longer than I could remember…to try to escape into a drug-induced sleep.