We’ve talked a lot over the years about anxiety and depression. I had a period of time in my forties when I was clinically depressed. There was a lot going on…a difficult marriage, trying to be a good mom to a 16 year old AND a new baby, and dealing with the newly remembered memory of childhood sexual assault while my children were the same age as I was when it occurred. It was a really difficult time in my life.

Deer in the headlights. Photo Credit: scienceabc.com

We didn’t do much yesterday. Watched some football together. Mr. FixIt baked a big batch of Peanut Butter Blossoms. Then around 5:00, we drove to town to get something to eat and go to Ollie’s…a bargain outlet in town that was having a 25% off sale on Christmas and toys for members. As we drove by, the sale had just started and the parking lot was crazy busy, so we decided to run across town to Rural King. We needed bird seed, cat food, and kitty litter. We figured we would hit the sale on our way back through town.

Mr. FixIt’s Famous Peanut Butter Blossoms! I have no idea how he makes them…it’s magic!

I don’t particularly care for the big box store. I also don’t particularly care for the shopping online opportunity that offers me cheaper prices and convenience. I don’t care for their business practices. I don’t care for inferior products made in Chinese sweatshops. But…I’m now officially a senior citizen living in the boonies on a fixed income. Gone are the days of just buying whatever my little heart desires. 

I responded to the invitation with a very solid “We’ll try to make it.” At this time of year, there’s just WAY too much going on. There was once a time when I thrived on the chaos, but that ship has long left the harbor. I love our high school friends…I really do. I don’t particularly love the restaurant they chose for dinner last night, but even that wasn’t my deciding factor. 

I don’t really consider myself a vain person. Not anymore. I used to be much more self-conscious and tried to “keep up with the Joneses”. But now that I AM a Jones and live out in the country and I’m rapidly closing in on 70, I find my beauty comes from within. And I’m good with that.

I stopped cutting my hair simply because of covid and then…it just seemed to be pretty cost conscious to avoid the salon. I got used to pulling it back in a ponytail and braiding it to keep it from tangling and breaking. This kept it healthy, but I’ve been toying with cutting it for a few months now. 

Ok, making homemade tamales is a CHORE! It’s a delicate balance of cooking and art. There is most definitely a learning curve to it. I fiddled and fussed with the first few till I figured out my masa dough wasn’t wet enough. After adding more broth, it softened up and was much easier to work with.

When you watch these YouTube videos that demonstrate recipes, you have to remember the people being recorded have done this a million times. They make it look easy. You can follow every step and yours still doesn’t look exactly like theirs. It was fun…and they are pretty tasty. If I make them again, I’ll wait till I have the ingredients for the red sauce she made from dried chiles. I think they would be more flavorful. The tamales will go in the freezer and we can pull them out as we want over the winter. I didn’t count, but I think there were at least three…maybe four dozen of them.

The making of tamales is a laborious undertaking. After going through a week of cooking for Thanksgiving two weeks ago, I’m not going to do an all day marathon and get these things done in record time. I’ve watched a great video…multiple times…on the how-tos of tamale making so I think I have a pretty good idea of what’s involved. 

FINALLY!!! After being in the shop more than we actually had her, the a-frame is back from the camper doctor. And she looks absolutely perfect…almost like a brand spankin’ new camper. I say “almost” because when we opened her up for her final inspection, the very first thing I saw was a huge scratch across the front of the refrigerator door that wasn’t there the last time we saw her in September. Oy! It’s ok though…they are ordering a new refrigerator door that will be delivered to us and we just have to pop it on. No problem! 

I finally finished the latest sweater! Yay!!! This one took me forever because I was so busy doing other things. But I kept plugging away at it whenever I had a few minutes to sit and knit. I love it! And…this one is for me! I put it on as soon as I finished and, while it is wool and alpaca, it’s really not very itchy. And it’s VERY warm and lightweight. I’m really happy with how it turned out and it will look good with jeans. 

I made another trip to the grocery store yesterday. Last week’s trip was to prepare for Thanksgiving dinner. Yesterday’s was to gear up for the holiday baking soon to ensue. We are really careful with our spending on groceries. We don’t eat fancy and we very seldom eat fast food or processed meals. This keeps the bill down. However, holidays are a different story. I don’t mind paying a little extra for the “splurge” that is Thanksgiving and Christmas.