“Getting Started”
I am “off the grid” for a few days of R&R with some girlfriends. No water, no electric, no cell service for 30 miles. Bliss!
Today’s post is about getting started. Do you ever find yourself with a massive project to do and it’s so huge, it’s overwhelming to look at? Do you feel frozen in place? What do you do to get motivated to take that first step?
“Letting Go…Some More”
I going “off the grid” for a few days of R&R with TOW-Wanda so I am writing my next few posts in advance. No water, no electric, no cell service for 30 miles! Just a group of friends, hanging around the campfire, telling stories, and having fun. There’s a trip to a BBQ place as well as a trip to some hot springs planned. Gonna do some fishin’, readin’, and nappin’. Yesssssss!
“Happiness”
I have to say, even with all that I’ve been through with losing Mr. Virgo, I’m still above average on the happiness scale. I have moments of sadness, of course, but the Pollyanna in me soon crosses over to the sunny side of the street. Yesterday was just such a day. Mr. Lawn Dude finished the yard and it looks great. It cost me a pretty penny but the house has great curb appeal now and that’s what I was after. I bought a grand total of 146 bags of mulch! Wowza!
“Some-wherrrrrre…over the rain-bowwwww…”
Daughter #2 came up Saturday and has been helping me on the house. Yesterday we arranged some things in the living room, finished sorting a big box of pictures, and tackled the master bedroom. We threw away two bags of junk, stuffed three garbage bags full of clothes and shoes for Lift-Up, she took a bag of shoes and clothes, and I boxed up two big boxes of winter clothes. We sat over coffee and I read the lengthy list of things that needed to be done before we can put the house on the market. Her jaw dropped and she said she could certainly understand why I was overwhelmed. One of the things listed was for all of your hangers to match (no wire hangers!) and for your clothes to be sorted by color. OMGosh! Mr. Virgo is turning cartwheels in Heaven today!!!
“To Be or Not To Be…”
That is the question Shakespeare asked of us. It indicates a choice is to be made. It forces the person being asked to take an active role in the conversation. It is existential. It is profound. It is the square root of who we are.
When I was in my forties, I had a teenager and a toddler and a husband who worked a difficult job and was gone long hours. He wasn’t a demonstrative person. I was involved in a hundred different things, trying to keep all the plates spinning on the sticks like the guy on Ted Mack’s Amateur Hour. Yet my soul was starving to death and when everything came crashing down around me, as it was bound to do, I saw a psychiatrist for depression and anxiety. We had worked together for a few weeks when he asked me a question I could not answer. As a matter of fact, I could not comprehend what was being asked.
“How To Have a Successful Yard Sale”
Decide the afternoon before to join your neighbor for a yard sale.
Spend the entire afternoon sorting through one box of pictures. Oh my gosh…look how cute the kids were! Is that my great uncle or the grandfather I never knew? Stop….focus!
Look at the incredibly huge list of things to get rid of. Choose one thing to do from list.
“Nostalgia”
A friend from high school posted today that we are coming up to our 43rd anniversary of our high school graduation. I’m fortunate to be connected here on FB with hundreds of my fellow graduates. When you consider we had over 800 students in our senior class, that is pretty impressive. We chimed in and discussed our memories of that night. I have to admit, my memories are pretty vague. I can’t tell you who I sat between. I don’t remember what I wore or who was the Valedictorian. But, I remember the music. One of my classmates composed a classical piece that the orchestra played at the ceremony. He and his girlfriend, also a classmate, were the first classmates we lost when they died the next year from carbon monoxide poisoning. A tragedy.
“Live!”
I have a magnet on my fridge that says “May you live all the days of your life!” A sound reminder that we can so easily become complacent in life. The devil you know is better than the one you don’t. Wrong! It took the awakening of spring to shake me out of my winter reverie. I went into hibernation as a means to just “get through” the long, cold darkness of another Colorado winter. My first winter without Mr. Virgo here to keep my home fires burning. As soon as the days started to get longer, I stretched and raised my head to look around only to find myself stagnant and unmoving. Like a bear emerging from her den, I went in search of food. I fed myself on the spring shoots called “fun in the sun”, and formulated a plan. I can sit here till the cows come home and write and expound on my deepest thoughts, but I am like anyone else…I sometimes have trouble following my own advice. Better late to the party than to never have bought the dress!
“Reflection…20/20 Vision of the Mind”
This time last year I had just begun my Grand Adventure…my three month road trip in TOW-Wanda. It was really just the beginning of my grief journey. As I look back, I can see how far I’ve come since those lost days. Reflecting also gives me 20/20 vision. I can see where I made some poor decisions. I spent too much money. I got involved in situations I had no business getting involved in, as I was unprepared to handle the repercussions. I lost connections I thought I would always have. I made new connections that I hope will carry through the rest of my life. I cried more tears than I thought humanly possible. I found out how strong this West Virginia gal really is. That strength is solid. I know where it is and how to access it when needed. Something I did not always have in the past. Death is the great equalizer. We are all different but grief will knock every one of us to our knees at some point in life. I am grateful for these life lessons. I guess that is our true purpose in life. To learn that there is strength in our greatest weakness. To learn to love from the deepest crevasse of our souls. To know the compassion of others. To feel. Charles Dickens was right…It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. Life is funny that way.
“New Shoes!”
I wrote recently that I have been having trouble with plantar fasciitis. It turns out my older daughter has the same problem. We both break out the sandals as soon as the snow melts and wear then till it’s too cold to feel your toes. This can wreak havoc with your feet when you get no support.
She has a pair of these sandals and when I tried them on, I knew I needed a pair as soon as possible! They are made by abeo. They have two arch supports. The traditional one and one under the ball of your foot to support the metatarsal arch. Oh my…they are divine…pricey but well worth it. I walked all day yesterday and wore them all day today and no more pain.