“Go do those things!”

I’m planning my next trip. I have at least two weeks, maybe three, with a free schedule. I’ve been invited to participate in a couple of art shows and need to get some things made. I can just as easily pack up my portable studio and make art on the road so I’m heading south. I want to hit NM then back up through the Four Corners and visit the sights in SE Utah.

“Happy St. Patrick’s Day!”

Mr. Virgo was a good Irish Catholic from South Philly. He loved his corned beef and cabbage. He loved his tall tales. He called me every year from the hotel on March 16th and asked me to please go to the store and buy green food coloring for the beer because someone forgot to order it. I wonder if they serve green beer in Heaven? I KNOW they serve corned beef and cabbage!

“Seek and Ye Shall Find”

I was discussing this with a friend the other night. This verse can mean so much more than just seeking God. It doesn’t matter what, or who, it is we’re seeking….we will find it.

We all know someone who always seems to have bad luck. They have endless complaints, nothing goes their way, and they can never catch a break. They are unhappy people. They WANT to be happy (or, at least they SAY they do). But, what are they actually seeking? If you look for the bad in people or situations, that’s all you will ever see. You have chosen to filter your vision through a lens that can only see darkness. The key word there is darkness.

“Spring!!!”

Ok, March and April can be our snowiest months in Colorado. But I’ll tell you what, I’ll take a day like this any time of year!

Love, love, love the sunshine and warmth!!!

“Colorado Blue Blaster Day!!!”

Coffee with the girls this morning then drove with TOW-Wanda to Denver. Watching ‘High School Musical’ at Westminster High School. Can’t wait to see the grandchildren dancing in the finale! It is reminiscent of when their mommy was in theater.

Tomorrow, my younger daughter and I will get together and do something epic. (It’s a surprise!) Saturday night will be a sleepover with the grandgirls in the trailer. Sunday I’m meeting dear friends to go to church. Then back home on Monday. A four day weekend will be gone before I know it!

“Springtime in the Rockies”

I headed to the lake Sunday afternoon. I needed to be alone with my thoughts and memories. The anniversary of Mr. Virgo’s death has come and gone. I loved being in the trailer alone. I talked to him. I cried for him. I wrote…and read…and prayed…and napped. I stared at the water and the birds. I listened to the wind and the geese. And I let it go. This year. This awful, heart-breaking, life-changing yet beautiful, blessed year. This change came from a 12 month gestation to birth a different version of me. Older, wiser, deeper. Grief knocked off some of those sharp edges and has humbled me in ways I never knew. And now? Now I’m ready to face whatever comes my way! I’m ready to tackle new projects. Travel to new places. Finish writing my book. Keep writing here. Take more pictures. Make more jewelry. Enter speaker training (not all who train are chosen, but it is a skill I can use anyway!). Paint. Learn. Grow. Teach. Fish. Hike. Camp.

“My Handsome Mr. Virgo”

I miss you. I sense you around every corner. I hear your laughter in the mountain stream as I bait my hook. I see your smile in the pink glow of the setting sun. I smell you on your jacket…earth, tobacco, leather. I feel your touch with the noonday sun on my shoulders.

I miss you. I taste your lips in an olive and bread and pomegranates. I remember our only dance. I ache for the memory to come alive, for just a moment, so I can hold you once again in my arms, feeling our bodies sway in time with the music.

“The Widowmaker”

As many of you know, Mr. Virgo died one year ago tomorrow. He certainly seemed healthy except for a fairly large weight loss in the months leading up to his death. He attributed that to being too busy during ski season to sit down and eat. Also, his dentures were still new and it hurt him to eat.

On the morning of March 12th, we drove to Grand Junction to look at travel trailers. Standing in the fourth one, he had a massive heart attack and was dead in 3 hours. He had what is called The Widowmaker which is a sudden and complete blockage of his anterior descending artery. The cardiologist in the ER kept turning to me and reminding me it was “grave”. He mentioned there is an increase in heart attacks with the time change. This is due to a challenge to the circadian rhythms that regulate everything in our bodies from sleep to cardiac rhythm.

“My Journey”

This has been a life changing year. The life I had planned, the one that included growing old with Mr. Virgo, ended abruptly a year ago this Wednesday. I sat in limbo, somewhere between then and now, in a fog of pain and self-doubt but filled with the determination that not only would I survive this challenge, I would thrive. There have been ups and downs, ins and outs, feelings of cowardice and courage. By the Grace of God…here I am. Open, filled with a joyful spirit, and ever, EVER grateful for all that I have. My life is abundant. I wrote this yesterday to post this morning. I already have Tuesday and Wednesday’s messages scheduled to post because today I am retreating with TOW-Wanda for a couple of days. I need to be alone with my thoughts and my memories. I need to just BE. I’ll be back Wednesday and will tell you all about it in Thursday’s post. That will be the first day of the rest of my life. I’m good. Don’t worry. I just want to be alone for a bit.

“The Pile of Rocks”

My younger daughter wears her heart on her sleeve, just like I did when I was growing up. She’s the fixer, the tenderhearted one who wants everyone to be happy. It took me many, many years to finally gain the insight I needed to help her. She thinks in analogies like I do so this is how I taught her to take care of herself in her relationships.