After Mr. Virgo died, I had several instances that could only be explained as supernatural. The first occurred just three days after he died. I was walking out of the bedroom to go get coffee with my daughters when I “felt” his hands on my shoulders and “heard” him say “Shut the d*** window!” He was a stickler for security. The next incident was when I was in Denver visiting the kids and my security alarm at the house kept going off...on the inside motion alarm. I could see on the camera there was no one there, but it went off multiple times and the police would come out to check. Finally, I stood in the living room and told Mr. Virgo out loud...”You need to stop messing with the alarm now. It’s involving other people and scaring me!” It never went off again. The most remarkable was when I was in my therapist’s office and the music started playing.
I’ve been transcribing my posts from Facebook over to my website for what seems like a decade now. Actually, I started copying them over in January 2017...not that long ago really. My son-in-law and I sat for a full day in December of 2016 and created this website. Since then, every time I write a post, there’s been a link from Facebook to the website and that’s where the bulk of my writing sits. Yesterday, I crossed into March 2016 so I only have about eight months of blog posts left to copy.
It’s been a long time since we had a really deep down, heart-to-heart chat. It’s been a long time since I needed to process some really difficult things and deal with the resultant side effects. I’m NOT going to dive into politics here...and I don’t want to stir up a political maelstrom. If that starts up, I’ll just delete the unhelpful comments. This isn’t about politics. This is about pain.
I asked Mr. FixIt on Saturday night if he’d like to go out to the farm with me yesterday to check things out. I like to get out there several times a month to make sure everything is ok and to pick up the mail. And, I like to just sit for a bit and breathe in a bit of the peace that place gives me.
Oy...it’s been a long time since our lives changed. It seems like three hundred YEARS already. I’m trying to make some changes and put some structure back in my life. I’m having a problem with my days and nights being mixed up. I go to sleep later and later and get up later and later. Yesterday morning, I woke up, took a cursory glance at my phone to see what time it was...7:23am. I turned over and went back to sleep because it was probably 4:00 before I even settled down to sleep in the first place. The next time I look at my phone, it was 1:37 in the afternoon! Good grief!
Whenever my grandma hit a rough patch, she’d look for something to ease her soul and afterwards, she’d say, “‘Deed, that’s like salve to a sore place.” It might be a chat with a friend on the front porch, or hugging her babies around the neck, or sitting in her window chair reading her Bible. Whatever came her way, it didn’t take her too long till she had herself lifted back up by the bootstraps and off she went a’runnin’ again.
I know today is “Feel Good Friday” and I know I usually scour the internet for a feel good story for today. There’s just an awful lot of ugly out there this week. I understand. It’s hard to look at. And I’ve had one hell of a week with all the deaths and destruction. So, I decided today I’d share someone special with you. This is my daughter in love. I’ll call her “TJ”. She is one of the special gifts that came along with Mr. FixIt and is one of the extra people I get to love on now.
The sweetest couple moved in next door to me the year after Mr. Virgo died. They had a little boy and I became Nana Ginny to him. He knew I sometimes slept in my camper, so in the mornings, he would run over and knock on the camper door to say hello before his mama took him to day care.
Along with grief comes a lot of triggers to bad, sad, traumatic and scary memories that can be really hard to deal with. I had PTSD after Mr. Virgo died and I really wanted to just turn off my brain and never remember anything again...ever. Thank goodness, that’s not how it works. I had “grief brain” for a couple of years, but as the bad memories faded to the background, I was really pleased the good memories could billow up in their place.
I’ve had seven surgeries in my life. When I go see a new doctor and they take a surgical history, I laugh and tell them it’s quicker to tell them what I have left than it is to tell them what all I’m missing. No one relishes having surgery. But, yesterday...I finally got the word I’ve been waiting for for the last three years. I had a phone consult with an endocrine surgeon yesterday and he said, after carefully reviewing all my studies, lab results and medical history, I need to have a tumor removed from my parathyroid gland.
