I am so blessed to have so many wonderful, loving friends who would do anything for me. My besty Gail needed me yesterday. Remember in Sunday’s Prayer Circle I asked specifically for prayers for her stepson who was in critical condition in ICU? Well, sadly…he lost his struggle this week, surrounded by loving family. He was only 32. So, when I woke up yesterday morning, I asked Mr. FixIt if he wanted to ride up to Beaver Falls, PA with me because I needed to go be with my girl.

My sweetheart has been struggling this week with painful hips from bowling, so he elected not to go with me on this jaunt. Instead, he stayed home and did the laundry and rested. I literally drove four hours up, sat with Gail for an hour at the funeral home, and drove four hours home. I passed the time on the drive talking with friends and family. I mastered hands free voice texts with Little. And I did a lot of thinking. Driving is my best think time…I can solve ALL the problems in a good day’s drive.

The colors were lovely. Not peak, but still quite nice. I drove up via the interstate with a cut across Cadiz Road. Now, that area of the country is beautiful. Lots of barns and farms and hills with winding roads. I passed through bucolic little towns with their manicured lawns and gardens and white picket fences. Farm stands overflowing with apples and pumpkins and Indian corn stood watch, their honor system buckets weighted down with a good sized rock to keep the money from blowing away. I love Eastern Ohio. It has the rolling hills and green grass of West Virginia with straighter roads and bigger skies, like parts of Colorado. 

All this driving made for a crazy week. When I pack so much stuff into a short amount of time, I have a hard time remembering what all I did. I’m whupped, but I am so glad I went to support Gail. When I arrived at the funeral home, I signed the guest register and looked up to see Gail trying to figure out who the woman in the black dress was. When I saw her eyes register that it was me, she crumpled and hurried over to me, throwing her arms around my neck and sobbing. I held her tight and let her cry. This is the woman who holds it all together and does for everybody else, asking for very little for herself. She needed me, and I was so glad I could be there for her.

There was a time, not so long ago, when going there would have been unthinkable. My own trauma and grief surrounding the loss of Mr. Virgo caused me to go into panic mode if I got anywhere near a funeral home. Not long after I moved to WV, a high school friend lost her son in a tragic accident. I went to the funeral home and stood with one of my other besties…Diane. She took one look at my face as I stood there like a deer in the headlights, my fight or flight response getting ready to kick into overdrive at any second. She grabbed my arm and fairly pulled me out of there. As soon as the fresh air hit my face, I realized I was barely breathing.

Grief is tricky and so hard to navigate. Time has eased so many of the wounds and that allows me to be more emotionally accessible for others. When I mentor others walking through the same path, I make sure they understand they are not alone, they are not crazy, and the things they go through…no matter how painful…will eventually become easier to bear. Life will never ever be the same as it was before losing Mr. Virgo…but I sure am glad I can give more of myself now to those who are hurting.

My prayers are always with the bereaved. May they find some comfort …“in the arms of an angel”.

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“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”

2 Corinthians 1:3-4 ESV