n. a flat, dull, or trite remark, especially one uttered as if it were fresh or profound.
Yesterday someone called me on a remark I have made repeatedly and I’d like to flesh that out a little more. I often talk about the hidden gems found after the flames of grief have died down. A “beauty from ashes” platitude that, in truth, can smart on delivery.
There is nothing beautiful about grief other than the fact we get it because we dared to love that deeply. When you are walking through the fire, the last thing you are thinking is that there’s something beautiful in it. You’re just trying not to be consumed by the flames.
Grief is a table for one. You don’t have anyone else to go through it with, really. It’s different for everyone. It’s different than anything you have ever done, even if you have grieved before. When I’m talking about the hidden gems, I’m talking about those moments of self discovery. Just because you didn’t ask to be a member of this particular club doesn’t mean you don’t learn something about yourself and the world in the process. For me, this has been a time of exponential growth….personally and spiritually. I have learned things I couldn’t have had I not walked this path. Would I rather have my husband than these nuggets? Of course! But that’s not how this hand was played. I was dealt these particular cards and it’s up to me to derive meaning from them. And if delivering the occasional platitude and cliche gets my point across, that’s where I go.
This is going to be a busy week for us all. Preparations for the holidays continue. Cookies are being baked. Trees decorated. Bags are being packed. I head out on Thursday to the Cincinnati suburbs to see my oldest daughter get her Masters degree. Her father, step-mother, half-brother and I will join together to cheer her on with great pride. I am so blessed to have these loving relationships in my life. No matter what form family takes…we stand together for our kids.
❤️
“And this commandment have we from him, That he who loveth God love his brother also.”
1 John 4:21 KJV