I don’t like resolutions. They represent change and, as a widow, I’ve had just about all of that I can stomach, thank you very kindly. “The only thing in life you CAN count on is change.” “Change is good.” “If you don’t change, the view will remain the same.” Trite platitudes, at best. Besides that, how do I know what I’m going to want to be doing in August? I don’t know what I want to do TOMORROW let alone set myself up for the inevitable failure of another ill conceived resolution. I prefer to choose a word to focus on instead of resolving to change even more things in my life.

Losing Mr. Virgo was the tip of the iceberg. The trickle-down theory of grief fallout is the gift that won’t stop giving…like a tub overflowing on the second floor and you can’t pull the plug or stop the flow of water. Surprise! Your life will change in ways you never could have imagined. Bam! Smack! Splash!

I made a huge leap of faith this year. I sold my house. I sold or gave away practically everything I owned. I left my family and friends to come home to care for my aunt. And totally secondary to that, I came home to say goodbye to the family farm. I had it pictured. Awesome antiques. A great garden. Chickens. Rain on the tin roof. Idyllic. Iconic. A fairy tale life. Then…change.

The thing is, I had expectations. I had a script. I had a plan. I just assumed God had the same thing in mind for me. This change, while unpleasant, is not necessarily a bad thing. If my storybook scenario would have played out exactly as I had it in my mind, then the final goodbye to this farm would have been devastating. It would have left me bereft, yearning for something I am not destined to have in the long run. As it turns out, the reality of the situation has allowed me to view the farm (and my aunt, as it turns out) from a practical, realistic vantage point and not through the rose colored lens of nostalgia. I can see the warts, so to speak. This is not a bad thing. The timetable just got moved up, that’s all. Change. It’s slippery. Sneaky. It can take away so much, so fast. But it can also give such beautiful gifts if you don’t cower in fear. If you face the winds of change head on, the fog gets blown away and you can see so much further.

So here’s my word for 2015.

Grace…an attribute of God. “The love and mercy given to us by God because God desires us to have it, not because of anything we have done to earn it.” I resolve to face the coming year, with all of its changes, all of its challenges, all of its surprises with grace.

Grace. I love that.

Thank you for all your posts and excellent insights you’ve shared this year. Everyone benefits when you post, share, and interact with each other. You are all incredibly brave and strong and beautiful. Thank you so much for traveling along with me. Your love and support have helped me more than you will ever know! May each of you face the changes of the upcoming year with grace…in good health and prosperity.

Happy New Year!

Ginny

❤