A couple of years after my second husband and I split up, a friend’s husband became ill and died six weeks later. It was barely time for her to let the idea sink in that she was losing him when the brain tumors took him. A group of us went to a friend’s house one evening to gather and eat up the leftovers of the massive amount of food served at the church after the funeral. My friend Chris gathered a couple of us gals together and said she wanted to take the new widow to Mexico to give her a break and get her away. I agreed this was a good idea but was shocked when she proposed we leave 36 hours later! It’s the most spontaneous thing I have ever done and honestly, I have no earthly idea how our friend managed to do this three days after burying her husband. She was a stronger woman than me.

I was still grieving the loss of my second marriage when we went on that trip. Watching Joanie after losing her husband gave me a different perspective on what real loss is all about. We were staying at an all inclusive resort and one of the activities you could take part in was sailing. I had always had a fear of water. Truth be told, at that particular time in my life, I was afraid of just about everything. But if the new widow could face it, I was sure I could. We had a sailing lesson and took off on a small catamaran. My three friends soon were bored with crossing the bay back and forth and wanted to go ashore. I dropped them off and headed back out into the Caribbean…alone. For some reason, I took to sailing like it was the most natural thing I had ever done. I stayed out for hours and something miraculous happened. It hit me, for the first time really, that I was in charge of my life. Sailing empowered me to make some solid decisions regarding the direction I wanted my life to go. I have never had the opportunity to sail again, but I know I steer this ship, under God’s most expert direction.

Was there a defining moment in your life that empowered you to be in charge of your ship?

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