We learned yesterday we have a couple of challenging medical issues in the family and I surprised myself at how I handled it. I have been known to…how shall I say…crumple under the weight of such things. Three years ago today, Mr. FixIt had his first stroke. Heading into the month I lost Mr. Virgo, such news rocked me to my core. I held it together till they took him up for the MRI, at which point I threw up.

I guess I’ve never been a cool cucumber during times of stress. I have to tell you though…most of the crumpling happens when I think about what COULD happen. What MIGHT happen. What WILL happen. Nine times out of ten, I move right through the issue when it ACTUALLY happens. Mr. FixIt’s first stroke was one I didn’t handle so well. 

I don’t know if it’s age. I don’t know if it’s the wise counsel of Daughter #1. Or maybe just the old adage that practice makes perfect. But, something’s changed…shifted. Lately, when something comes up that might be a real gut wrencher and I feel the anxiety start to rise, I remind myself that God has carried me through every other tough thing. Like Mr. Virgo’s funeral. I didn’t think I could live through that, but like the Bible says…God has plans for me. He held me through every tough moment.

I had a flash of insight the other day. Getting anxious and wigged out about stuff removes the opportunity to snuggle in close to Jesus. Anxiety is ME trying to avoid the situation and control the outcome. That’s not my job. MY job is to trust that God has my back, that whatever’s going to happen will happen, and wigging out about it isn’t going to change anything or make it go away. 

I am enough. I don’t HAVE to be more. I don’t HAVE to be perfect. I don’t HAVE to worry about every little thing. The Bible also tells us we cannot add a single hour to our lives by worrying. If the birds are fed without bother, how much more will God do for His own children?

These glitches we are facing aren’t life threatening. They are unpleasant. They are even a little scary. But I choose to believe everything will be ok. And if they aren’t, we’ll deal with it when the time comes. As Daughter #1 says, “I don’t have the bandwidth to carry all that, Mom. I look at the options and choose to believe the best case scenario, unless or until that is no longer possible.” 

This I DO know…I am a total noodle without God.

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I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.”

Jeremiah 29:10-11 MSG