Some very observant readers picked up on something in my picture yesterday. My inbox lit up like a Christmas tree! I didn’t answer the questions directly and suggested they come back today to read my post. I love a little mystery. What was it they saw? A ring…a shiny ring…on my left hand!!! *squeeeee*
Yes, I have a ring! And in all fairness, so does Mr. FixIt. I gave him his first though. So here’s how it went down, what it means, and how we’re feeling about it.
Early in the year, just a couple months after Mr. FixIt and I started seeing each other, we found out there was something wrong with his blood. The initial thoughts were he had leukemia. Suffice it to say, we were both pretty devastated about it. After all, we just “found” each other again after 45 years. It would be terribly tragic to turn around and lose him, too. He had more tests run and they were worse, so we went for a bone marrow biopsy.
We had been talking about a life long commitment but that’s as far as it had gone. Then the blood thing came up. I wanted some way, some outward sign that would show Mr. FixIt that…no matter what the results of this bone marrow biopsy, I was in this for the long haul. I didn’t want him to worry or be afraid. I happened upon a beautiful gentlemen’s ring and in a moment of impulse, I bought it. We were leaving for the hospital when I pulled out the box and told him I wanted him to know…good or bad…I’m not going anywhere. I thought he was going to cry. He knew I was sticking with him, but the gesture was not lost on him. He asked if this meant we were engaged. Smiling, I said, “Halfway.”
One evening we were going out to dinner with friends and I stopped by Mr. FixIt’s to get ready. I was sitting out front when he came home. He said, “Oh! You’re wearing my favorite dress!” I stood up and twirled around. He had a concerned look on his face and I thought. “Uh-oh. Somethings wrong.” He looked at me and said the dress was missing something. Something sparkly. Then he gave me this beautiful ring!
Here’s where it gets complicated. This is the most personal I’ll ever get about our relationship. I don’t want to get married again. At least, not in the conventional way. I’ve had three husbands. That’s two other women’s quotas. It has nothing to do with how much I love Mr. FixIt…or Mr. Virgo, for that matter. When women of a certain age become widows, they qualify for “widow’s benefits”. If they get married, they lose that. Things don’t work in the widow’s favor in this regard. Therefore, a lot of very long engagements take place in my age bracket. And that’s just fine.
From a faith standpoint, it slays me that women are forced to lose income in order to
do what God says to do. Someone said to me…”Well, you aren’t trusting God to provide.” To which my answer is…maybe He already provided. Maybe those widow’s benefits ARE his answer to prayer. The Lord takes care of those who help themselves. To me, it would be crazy to throw away money He had provided.
Long engagements are still in vogue. I will be here for the long haul. The rest is a matter of semantics. So, no…there’s no date set. No fanfare. No hoopla. Just love. Lots and lots of love…always and forever. I’m sure I’ll be talking to God about it when I get to Heaven. I have a feeling it’s going to be a long conversation! ❤️
Edit: He still has an abnormality which they have determined is not leukemia. They still don’t know what it is. We have to repeat the tests in six months. I’m sorry. I was writing this late and missed that piece.
“…..may you ever be intoxicated with her love.”
Proverbs 5:19 NIV
Congratulations! The look on your face says it all!
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Ginny thrilled for you; you look radiant.
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I’m a widow & im 43. I receive SS for my 3 children. I’ve been worried about how I’ll survive when the last one moves away in 8 yrs. I’ll be 50. Will I qualify for widow benefits then?
Congrats!
I am not an expert there. For me, I had to wait till I was 60 to start getting Social Secuity as a widow. My advice to you is to seek the advice of a financial adviser, and speak to Social Security in person. Go several times until you are satisfied you have the right answer. Prayers for the right answer! ❤️
You are so right many women get remarried and don’t know until it’s too late what they have lost. Ignorance is not bliss in this case.
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If you were disabled between 50-60 you’d be eligible for disabled widows benefits. Not disabled, widows benefits at age 60, IF you’re not remarried.
If you were disabled between 50-60 you’d be eligible for disabled widows benefits. Not disabled, widows benefits at age 60, IF you’re not remarried. You can marry after age 60 & still receive your check.
Women who receive Social Security widow’s benefits can continue to receive those benefits even after marriage. I encourage any one who is thinking of marriage to contact Social Security to ask any questions or voice concerns that you may have. Sorry to sound like an informational bulletin Ginny-I didn’t want any one to miss out on a walk down the aisle; due to Social Security widow’s benefits only. Private pensions or benefits from VA/Railroad may be a different story-just do the necessary homework first.
I am so happy for you and Mr Fixit! ❤️❤️ Love looks good on you. ?
I’ve been to Social Security 7 times and each time I was told if I get married, I lose my widow’s benefits. I’ll ask again…you never know. ❤️
You’re over age 60 so it won’t affect your benefits. So happy for you & Mr. Fix it! ❤
Really??? That’s not what I was told, but I’ll go check again. Thanks!
I have found with social security offices many verbal communication inconsistency’s. Unless you have it in official written form it is not officially true or accurate. In other words it can change on a dime verbally. So be warned.
Yes! That’s what I’m finding. I’m doing my homework. ❤️
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Women who receive Social Security widow’s benefits can continue to receive those benefits even after marriage. I encourage any one who is thinking of marriage to contact Social Security to ask any questions or voice concerns that you may have. Sorry to sound like an informational bulletin Ginny-I didn’t want any one to miss out on a walk down the aisle; due to Social Security widow’s benefits only. Private pensions or benefits from VA/Railroad may be a different story-just do the necessary homework first.
I am so happy for you and Mr Fixit! ❤️❤️ Congratulations!!
Oops sorry didn’t mean to post twice! I didn’t see it the first time ?
No problem! lol Happens all the time. I’m going to go talk with them again. If been down there 7 times. I don’t always get the same answer. I usually go till I get the same answer three times. Then I can pretty much guess it’s true. Thanks for the info, though! ❤️
I got mine in Calif at 60. I’d check with a family law attorney; and get an answer in writing on official stationary from SS. Maybe the answer is on their WEBSITE under FAQ’s. It’s gotta be a question they get by the thousands daily!
How about asking Ann Landers? She knows who to ask–and could publish the answer to help many at the same time. Hopefully this is not anything that can be messed with by those in power “at the top” right now.
Good points! ❤️
I believe announcing your love and life-long commitment to one another to God, family and friends, is sufficient. Announcing via marriage certificate, is for tax purposes.
Congratulations and God’s Blessings on your commitment!
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I saw it too!! Love it! Makes me cry! You’re amazing Ginny!!❤️❤️❤️
Congrats to you!! So happy for you! Totally agree! So Zelda God has brought us together as friends. Feel like I have known you for years!
Hugs,
Penny
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Beautiful ring and love you have. Congratulations!
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Yep all I could think of is SWAK!!! Sealed With A Kiss – love forever and always….and Ginny it’s ok to do it y’all way! Much love and happiness! ???
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Congratulations, Ginny. Happy for you. ?❤️
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I am so happy for both of you. Congratulations!!
It must be so reassuring to him to know that you will be by his side no matter what.
Love the bling in your ring❣️
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Beautiful! You are one truly blessed woman who has embraced the ugly, the bad and have always told us to embrace the good! Wishing you only more fun loving experiences and events to fill our lives with joy and wisdom. May the good Lord guide the doctors to the reason behind Mr. FixIt’s health problems.
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When my husband passed away he was 59 & I was 64. When I started drawing my social security (Agee 66) I drew off of his- widows benefit. I met my cowboy & we were together for 2 years before we got married (this past July) . When I reported it to Social security they said my benefit would stay the same because I got remarried after my deceased husband would have been 62. So I did not loose any money. I don’t understand all that SS stuff but I didn’t argue with them! So happy for you & Mr. Fixit! And prayers for his health?
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Love looks good on you!
Good to seeing you following your heart ❤️You are both lucky!
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Praying for you both! May the Good Lord wrap His Loving Arms around you both and see you through this health crisis. So glad you found one another! Congratulations! The ring is spectacular and so are you.
Nice to see your positive posts. Thank you for sharing a glimpse of your life with us all!
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Love the ring & love you, too. <3 Prayers for Mr. F's health. xx
Congratulations! Wishing you a blessed happy life with Mr. Fix it! We all have to travel different paths in our lives, so happy you’ve found this one!
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Beautiful ring, congratulations to you both. I agree with your decision. Enjoy the weekend.
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I think you should ask to discuss it with a supervisor. Also maybe look up information on the SS website, print it out and take it with you.
I will be happy when you are married….congratulations on being engaged.
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I looked on the SS website, I think you should print this page out…it’s stating VERY plainly you can remarry after age 60 without impacting widow’s benefits.
https://www.ssa.gov/planners/survivors/ifyou2.html
“If you remarry after you reach age 60 (age 50 if disabled), your remarriage will not affect your eligibility for survivors benefits.
When Should You Apply
Select one of the links below to get additional information about
Benefits If You’re The Surviving Divorced Spouse;
Benefits If You’re The Worker’s Minor Or Disabled Child; and
How Much Your Benefit Would Be
Related Information
Estimate Your Life Expectancy
Benefits For The Surviving Spouse By Year Of Birth
Retirement Benefits By Year Of Birth
Delayed Retirement Credits
Reminder: Your full retirement age for retirement benefits may not match your full retirement age for survivors benefits.
Find your full retirement age
Year you were born:
Note: Survivors born on January 1st should select the previous year.
Thank you! Someone else sent me that. I swear that’s not what they told me so maybe the rules have changed. There are some other things about SS that have changed since Mr. Virgo died so maybe this is one of them. I’ll keep doing my homework. ❤️
Dear Friend, you and I have been FB friends since the beginning. I have seen you grow into a strong,I make my own decisions kind of woman. Widowhood does that if you can handle the pain. I have also seen you glow with love the last few months. What a wonderful sight to behold❤️ Do what makes you and your Mr FixIt happy – married or together in love. I am over the moon happy for you and keeping Mr FixIt in my prayers.
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I’m observing it more and more that people are having commitment ceremonies conducted by a minister rather than a legal commitment.
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MANY Congrats to you and The Mister!
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It is rare to find true love once but to find it again!!-That’s a WoW. You are not the first person I know who didn’t ‘marry’ because widow benefits would be lost and as I understand, you will never get them back once gone. You are a more than wise lady with a more than understanding “significant other’. Enjoy !
Well, K…someone sent me a link to the Social Security page that contradicts what I said about losing benefits, so I need to do further research. I swear when I first went in there, they told me I would lose my benefits if I remarried. Maybe the rules have changed since then, I don’t know. But I’m not entirely sure that will make a difference in my decision. Time will tell. ❤️
Christ taught us to love!!! Why do we love…because He first loved us!! If you have love you have everything!!!
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Ginny,
I love the way you write!! And I am incredibly happy for you and Mr. Fix It!! I love the ring!! I will pray for the two of you as you go through his health journey together. May God bless you both!! xo
Peg~
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I’ve been following you (after seeking out other widows through the internet) and am super curious about your relationship with Mr Fixit and also your dedication as a Christian. I am a Christian too and “struggling” with the Christian way of being married when in an intimate relationship, however I don’t want to do it again, even though I very much want a life partner. It’s a confusing place to be but I’m trusting the process and listening and learning as I go.
I was widowed at age 43, I’m 48 now.
Thank you so much for your transparency in your journey.
You are right, dear one. My faith is the center of all of my relationships. And here is where some of my more devout friends and readers may disagree with me. I feel that marrying in the eyes of God is more important than a legal document, the sole purpose of which is to regulate and tax marriage. I too want a life partner. And I feel God wants me to be happy. I’m still working this all out myself. Life is a journey and I am learning and growing as I go. I pray every day that God lets me know what He wants me to do. I pray for discernment to know clearly what that is. And, I pray for the wisdom, strength, and courage to do it. ❤️
❤️congratulations on finding someone to once again share your heart and soul with!
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I am happy for you. I dont want to sound bitter but I have been praying for a husband my whole life. I turned sixty this year and I am still waiting . You can imagine or maybe you cant when some one like me reads your post and you are not marrying because of money. I just dont understand
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I totally get it all, I’m in for the long haul and there will be no more marriages!! So happy you have found happiness again!! Health and happiness to you both!!??
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