Ok, I debated whether to even bring this up. But it’s part of life after the loss of a spouse and that’s what I’m here to talk about and practice in my own life. So, here goes.

I met someone interesting in WV. He found me, actually. He’s a good man, a widower of four years. He had dated a bit, one relationship lasting nine months. He spoke very kindly of her and there was something in his voice but I didn’t explore it. We have SO much in common. We had three dates before I left for CO. They went well. We talked nearly every day all summer for 1-3 hours. Things were going great. Then there was a family wedding over the weekend. I didn’t hear from him much. I didn’t really expect to because he was busy. Then, Tuesday night, out of the blue, he called to say he had rekindled a past relationship and he couldn’t continue this. Needless to say, I was initially crushed, then disappointed, then angry, then resolved.
Dating after loss is difficult, to say the least. The whole getting to know you thing, the questions and answers…it’s all so tiresome. But it’s also exciting to have something new and fresh to look forward to. Someone to talk to. Someone to care about. Someone to care about you. I’ve dated a couple of other guys, but I always kept my hand on the doorknob with an escape route firmly in place because it was really way too soon. This one was different. This one was special. I took my hand off the door. That’s why this one stung…until I had a chance to think about it. The upside is, I felt the spark. I know it’s there and it can come again. I am grateful he showed me that.

Maybe God is protecting me from something even more painful down the road. At first I thought, “What a tragedy!” But that quickly changed to “No….having my husband drop dead in front of me at age 62 is a tragedy. This is a minor inconvenience…a bee sting.” A friend said God weeded my garden for me. Sweet thought, but even with the way this went down, I think he’s a good man. He went with his heart and was honest and up front about it and told me before it went on.

So, I licked my wounds, and sent him a lovely note in which I told him we all deserve to be with the one we love and that I truly wish him the very best. I don’t know if I’ll try again. I do believe in love. But there are seven available women to every man with a pulse, and frankly you have to figure out…”Is the juice really worth the squeeze?”

In the words of Jed Bartlet… “What’s next?”

❤️

““You expected much, but see, it turned out to be little. What you brought home, I blew away. Why?” declares the Lord Almighty. “Because of my house, which remains a ruin, while each of you is busy with your own house.”

Haggai 1:9

“Even my close friend, someone I trusted, one who shared my bread, has turned against me.”

Psalm 41:9