I don’t know why I do this. Year after year. I have a plan. It just never works out. I have a tendency to procrastinate. And yesterday, it caught up with me.
I have a hard time staying up with my checkbook. It’s not a big deal because I follow everything online. But it becomes a big deal at tax time. I then make a frantic dash and download a year’s worth of transactions, run a quick report in my accounting program, plug the numbers in my tax program, and voila! Easy peasy, right? Wrong.
It appears my bank changed horses in the middle of the stream and I was too busy with shiny objects to notice. Then when I tried to download, I broke the Internet. Well, ok…the bank’s server crashed. Which I’m quite sure had absolutely nothing to do with the gazillion bits of info trying to zoom its way across cyberspace and cram down through teeny tiny wires into my computer. It was just a coincidence…right?
Anyway, after ten hours, at least three of which was spent on the phone with the uber nice bank lady (Jennifer…we’re bff’s now), I have lost eight months of data and got three of each of the rest of the transactions…one of which shows as a debit and the other two as a deposit. Seriously? It’s fixable…really it is. I just have to enter a year’s worth of transactions by hand. Oy.
Why am I telling you this? Well, basically to let you know I didn’t let this little fiasco ruin my day. I went out on the deck, took this beautiful picture, meditated, breathed deep, stretched, came inside, and took a hot bubble bath. I made myself stop, relax, and regroup. And then I went to bed. The computer will be sitting in the same place I left it last night. And my mind will be fresh.
Just because I’m three years into this grief journey, and just because I’ve changed my focus to wellness and making this my year to thrive, does not mean I no longer deal with “grief brain”. Grief forever changes neural pathways. You just have to learn when it’s OK to stop and say “Enough already!” Give yourself permission to not be perfect. And download your transactions every month, for crying out loud!
❤️
“Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools.”
Ecclesiastes 7:9 KJV