I miss having some around. I have guy friends that I don’t get to hang with nearly enough. But, I miss romance. I miss that masculine protective strength. That big bear hug that tells you everything’s going to be ok.

The day we buried Mr. Virgo, I was wandering around the house, speaking to people, hugging friends and family. I realized I needed some testosterone. I went to Mr. Virgo’s humidor and got that really expensive cigar I bought him for Christmas. I have very little alcohol in the house but I had some cognac that I used for cooking. I grabbed that and went around gathering the men and headed for the front porch. We sat out there and dedicated this little soirée to the memory of a good man. It was a lovely ritual. My clearest memory of the funeral, really.

Testosterone. That little thing that makes a man a man. I really can’t imagine living the rest of my life alone. I know women who say they wouldn’t have another man if he was delivered to their doorstep. There’s nothing wrong with that, but I’m not one of them. I will love again. I think the difference this time will be loving on my terms. I want to be careful not to lose myself in the process.

What about you? Would you do it again if the person were really special?