I was just a little too young to be a hippy, although I do have some personal friends who actually went to Woodstock. But…they’re a year or two older than me. Besides, Mom barely let me cross Grand Central Avenue till I was seventeen, so there’s that. I was a pretend hippy. I wore the bell bottoms and the long hair, but I had to tape up the hem of my skirt or get grounded. No minis for me!
It’s probably a good thing I couldn’t be a real hippy because my addictive personality would have had me changing my name to Moon Flower and living in a commune with Wolf and Jasmine and Starlight. I became obsessed with Mother Earth News Magazine and the dream of owning a farm and living in West Virginia. And…in my real life, I lived the role of doctor’s wife and cheerleader mom.
Oh, I’m not saying it wasn’t good. There was so much of it that was truly awesome. But not all of it was truly genuine. I never really fit in as the doctor’s wife and I was only a barely passable cheerleader mom. I did whatever I could do to avoid the knocking at my heart’s door…that patient tap-tap-tapping of the Holy Spirit trying to get my attention. I was busy organizing the Jewish festivities in my little community. I was reading self help books by the wheelbarrow full. And I got heavily into New Age stuff.
I went to pow-wows. I visited shamans. I had my cards and numbers and palms read. I collected crystals and recharged them by the light of the moon. I smudged my house regularly by burning white sage and incense and myrrh. I was spiritually lost. I drank too much. I was depressed. At one point I was close to anorexia…I weighed 118 pounds and took nine aerobics classes a week plus mountain biking, skiing, and trail running.
I ran in every direction except towards Jesus.
Because…He scared me.
I thought if I loved Jesus, I couldn’t be Jewish and if I couldn’t be Jewish, Hubby #2 would leave me. I’ll never know if he would have, because things fell apart long before I found Jesus. When I finally did…my life was turned around and I was made new and now look where I am! Life takes some of the strangest turns and we don’t have a clue what God is doing with it. It’s hard to understand something so grand and glorious and totally beyond understanding.
I decided to buy a Powerball ticket yesterday. I don’t normally gamble. Mostly because of that addictive personality I was telling you about. But…my gosh, the prize is up to $1.2 BILLION…with a B! Oh, the good we could do for people with that money! I stopped at the 7Eleven on my way home. As I was walking in, I looked down and something caught my eye.
It was a crystal! A clear, perfectly formed quartz crystal.
I laughed.
The old me would have said it was a sign! That it was placed in my path by my spirit guide to tell me something. Instead, here’s what I heard in my heart.
“Go ahead. Buy the ticket. Who knows? Stranger things have happened. But this is just a pretty rock. It doesn’t have any magical powers other than to remind you just how incredibly far you have come on this amazing journey. I made this rock…and I made you and I gave you this one precious life. And you are…my beloved!”
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“Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world.”
1 John 4:1 ESV