Ok…show of hands. How many of you have felt invisible? Is it just me, or are we becoming more and more invisible the older we get? We are often overlooked, discounted, discarded. We aren’t given the good jobs. We’re overlooked for promotions and shuffled out the door with early retirement offers…or more often than not, flat out replaced. Doctors don’t always listen. Neither do nubile young store clerks. And when we assert ourselves…when we stand up to be counted…when we are a force to be reckoned with, we are labeled a B1+<# or the “problem patient”. We were trained to “be nice”, “don’t rock the boat”, “be a good girl”. At least, that’s what I was taught. I’m getting much better at asserting myself, especially now that I am on my own.
With the Boomers in their Golden Years, there are more people facing retirement now than there ever has been. Statistically, men don’t live quite as long as women so the ratio is going to shift markedly before too long. I don’t know about you, but I already feel the most invisible around men. I consider myself to be a fairly good looking woman and I have turned my share of heads in the past. Not so anymore. I’m not sending out signals that I’m interested, I suppose. I wear rings on both hands most of the time. I’m not sure I would want to be in another relationship anyway. Also, a woman has to be careful to protect her retirement benefits and marriage is not necessarily the best thing from a financial standpoint once you get to a certain age. I’m in that gray area between “I miss being part of a couple.” and “I’m free to do what I want, when I want.” I have friends in both camps. The former ache to have some companionship. The latter assure me they’re doing fine on their own.
I have always enjoyed the company of men. I love their testosterone, their comforting bigness, their conversational style. I have some wonderful gentleman friends. I have guys I can talk to on the phone whenever I need. But I’m missing my “let’s go to a movie or out to dinner” buddies. I haven’t really found that here. I’m hoping by expanding my social circle I can meet more people and make more friends that I can hang out with because I don’t like feeling invisible. I miss having an instant date. I miss getting all the hugs and kisses I could ever want. I miss the appreciation of a handsome man…MY handsome man. I know it will be a lot easier when Spring comes and I can get out and about more. Freezing temps, freezing rain, gray skies, short days make it more challenging to get out and meet people so I just have to be more creative! The fact that I am doing an incredibly tedious job scanning a gazillion photos onto an external hard drive for hours and hours at a time isn’t helping matters any. My “carrot” is getting out from under the burden of carting around all this “stuff”. Every step brings not only me, but also my kids closer to the freedom of not having to go through a house full of crap one day. I want to be free so that if I DO meet a friend who wants to say…travel to Europe, I can drop everything and go. There’s some motivation right there!
❤