My younger daughter wears her heart on her sleeve, just like I did when I was growing up. She’s the fixer, the tenderhearted one who wants everyone to be happy. It took me many, many years to finally gain the insight I needed to help her. She thinks in analogies like I do so this is how I taught her to take care of herself in her relationships.

God gives everyone a pile of rocks. There are big rocks for the big things in life like families, jobs, houses, health. There are medium sized rocks for the average things in life like friends and laundry and soccer practice. Then there are small rocks for the mundane trivia of life like grumpy store clerks or the guy that cut you off on the freeway. God gives us extra rocks sometimes for those unexpected crises like a death in the family or the unexpected loss of a job. But, HE never gives us more than we can carry. The problem comes when WE pick up rocks that are not ours.

Picture, if you will, sitting in a great big circle with everyone you come into contact with. We’re all sitting here with our pile of rocks in front of us. Just the right amount of rocks. Just the amount that you are capable of carrying because you need to take them back home at the end of the day. Suddenly, the woman sitting across from you says something hurtful to you. If you internalize and take that personally, she has just thrown you one of her rocks and you dutifully stacked it on your pile. Now, a few folks down is your best friend. She’s having a major issue in her life and wants someone, anyone, to carry this burden for her. So you reach over and gladly take one of her rocks because that’s what friends are supposed to do, right? You sit here all day long, every day, in your circle getting rocks thrown at you and picking up others until you can’t even SEE over your pile, let alone pick it up and carry it back home!

It’s one thing to get up, walk over to your friend and help her carry a particularly heavy rock for awhile. It’s quite another to try to carry everyone else’s rocks plus your own. Let others carry their own rocks. Stop trying to own the world’s problems cause honey, you really can’t live long enough to take care of everyone else. That’s THEIR pile of rocks!