Ever since I found out the latest surgery to find the errant parathyroid glands in my neck was unsuccessful, I’ve felt like I’ve been floating around in a rowboat without any oars. Just bobbing along…not knowing what to do, or even if there is anything TO do. I prayed a lot about it over the weekend. I handed it to God and I told him I trusted He would help me to not only survive this disappointment, but to thrive in the process.

I trust that God uses all things for His glory. I believe He has a plan for us to prosper and not to harm us…a plan that gives us hope and a future. Sometimes God whispers to us and guides us gently. Other times, He hits us up the side of the head or brings someone with a megaphone so we “get it”. That’s what He did when answering my weekend prayers.

I have a dear friend who is like a sister to me. I never had a biological sister, but “Hattie” is as close to me as any blood relative. We usually check in with each other several times a week. She texted me Monday to see how I was feeling after my surgery. I told her I was just feeling rudderless…like I don’t know what direction to turn. I told her about my disappointment that the surgery failed to “cure” me after I had such high hopes that it would.

We had a long heart-to-heart talk…the kind sisters and life-long friends have. She had a brilliant piece of advice. I’m going to share it with you here in her own words.

“I talk to my docs and my dentist about the 20 year plan. I mean, even if I am blessed enough to live to be 90, I will have only about 20 years left to worry with something. So, I tell them to talk in those terms. I don’t need a 55-year plan (which is the number I use because most of my medical peeps are in their 30’s. Is this a 20-year problem or a 55-year problem?”

I had to sit with that for a while and really consider her wise words. I’m nearly 69 years old…not OLD, but certainly getting in the general neighborhood. I don’t have 50+ years to worry about stuff. Ok, this disease can leach calcium from my bones and make them more brittle. That’s certainly important…but it’s not life threatening. The rest of the side effects from hyperparathyroidism are mainly quality of life issues…pain, hair loss, acid reflux. Heck, none of us are going to escape this life without some ramifications of age. Let’s weigh the checks and balances.

Yes, it would have been wonderful if this surgeon could have found my errant parathyroid glands and cured me. But every time you cut into the neck, you are risking very serious complications…namely paralyzing the vocal cords. Paralyze one side and you are left with a defect in you voice…anything from hoarseness to a whisper. Paralyze BOTH vocal cords and you cannot swallow and you’ll need a permanent tracheostomy. Neither of those things sound like something I’m willing to mess with. 

My surgeon even considered removing my thyroid completely in an effort to cure me, but there were reasons he decided not to. First, I would have had to take thyroid medication for the rest of my life. Second, the vocal cord nerves were firmly stuck to my thyroid. Too risky to remove. He did a very careful search for those glands, clearing out scar tissue and fatty tissue, and he just couldn’t find them.

So, I’ve elected the 20-year plan. We’ll check my Vitamin D. Very low Vitamin D can elevate the parathyroid hormones and raise the calcium. We’ll try boosting my Vitamin D level in an attempt to bring the other numbers down. I’ll practice great care to keep from falling and breaking anything. I’ve started taking Celebrex and a muscle relaxant and that has done a good job keeping my pain level manageable. And, so what if my hair falls out more than I’d like? I’m not doing a photo shoot for Vogue anytime soon. 

I can’t tell you how much this shift in my mindset has changed how I’m feeling about this whole situation. And isn’t that an answer to prayer? I feel like the weight of the world has been lifted from my shoulders. Hopefully I have 20 good years to look forward to. I’ll be darned if I’m going to look at them as a loss before I’ve even had a change to live them! It’s time to get off the pity train now and get out there and live this precious life I’ve been given. Who’s with me???

❤️

“Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” So we can confidently say, “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?””

Hebrews 13:5-6 ESV