“The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in him; though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand.”
Psalm 37:23-24 NIV
It is time. Three weeks ago, the time for my visit stretched long before me. And, in the blink of an eye…it is gone. Today I travel home to West Virginia. Goodbyes are always so bittersweet. Oh, how I miss my babies…big and little. How I miss my brother and the rest of my Colorado family and friends. How I miss being nearby and stopping to visit with Mr. Virgo whenever I want. But it can’t be helped. There are so many reasons why I don’t live in Colorado anymore.
The main impetus that led my move to West Virginia was two-fold. Economics made Colorado far out of my housing budget and caring for an elderly family member in my home state seemed appropriate. If I would have known that endeavor would have only last ten weeks, I likely would have done things differently. I may have kept my Colorado house and rented it out. I may not have purchased such a big camper. I may have more evenly split my time between Colorado and West Virginia. But, hindsight being 20/20, it is what it is and I wouldn’t have changed a thing if I could.
Moving to West Virginia was the path my life needed to take. I needed to feel the freedom of living on my own. I needed to feel the love and connection of caretaking my family farm, which turned out to be the ultimate conclusion of the elder care situation. I needed the social group my hometown afforded me. And, most importantly of all…destiny brought Mr. FixIt and me together! He is such a joy to have in my life and I can’t imagine him not being there.
One of the downsides to living so far away is the limited amount of time my family has to spend bonding with Mr. FixIt. They don’t feel the connection with him that they felt with Mr. Virgo. You can’t develop a loving bond with someone you have a couple of dinners with over a period of a week or so. I understand that. I just hope they can understand my commitment to him and why I live where I do and not near them. It tears at a mother’s (and grandmother’s) heart when you can’t be near them always. The other side of the coin is, travel goes both ways. So do phone calls and texts and FaceTiming. It’s a new time in our lives. A new adjustment. A new phase.
I know where they are coming from, though. When my mom lived in West Virginia and I lived in Colorado, it used to drive me crazy. I wanted her to move to Colorado where I could help her more. I wanted her to have access to excellent healthcare. I wanted her close where I could watch over her. I guess what it boils down to is…I wanted more control. (Ahhhh, it always boils down to control, doesn’t it?) My girls saw me struggle to help my mom long distance. They don’t want to have to do that, too. I get that. But, NOW I totally get where my mom was coming from. Whereas I though she was being terribly stubborn and unreasonable, I now see she was living the way SHE wanted to live…WHERE she wanted to live. I wish I could have understood that more at the time. I think I would have been more gentle with her.
At any rate…I have promises from all my Colorado family that we will make a concerted effort to reach out more and stay connected by the various media channels we have access to. And…my sweet and handsome all-time BEST friend in the whole wide world will be standing in Columbus Airport today welcoming me home with the very best hug on the planet!!! I wouldn’t trade that for ANYTHING!
Vaya con Dios, Colorado…I’ll be back as soon as I can! ❤
Boy I know that feeling. Hugs dear friend? It never seems to get easier.
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I know the feeling of leaving loved ones in Colorado. But, we are where God wanted us to be, and so are you. It is hard being away from our “big and littles”, but we do call and facetime is great. We try to set an appointed time each week to talk to each other. Some weeks we have to change the time or day, but we get it done. At first it was one side doing all the work, now it is every side. My granddaughter’s school in Colorado has given all children an email address, so that teachers can check on them; but they can use it for personnal emails, too. So, my granddaughter and I email each other. Sometimes it’s just silly emojis. Welcome home!
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Distance is hard but you are right – the road goes two directions and with FaceTime and email it is easier. Thank goodness we do not live in pioneer days where saying goodbye meant possibly leaving loved ones forever! Now if only FaceTime allowed a hug feature!
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After my husband died a little over 5 years ago, I moved out to Colorado, to be near my daughter and her family. I still live in Colorado but they have moved a couple times most recently to Texas. I miss them too, but so far Where I am in Colorado it seems the best choice I can afford. Believe me- I miss them and have prayed about it. Will be going for a visit, but not moving there as far as I can see.
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