Being “ghosted” during grief only adds to the pain and loneliness.
Ghosting. It’s really more of a millennial term used when a less than mature individual chooses to end a relationship by simply ceasing all contact with the person they were dating. SO 8th grade. Unfortunately, it also adequately describes what happens when widow(er)s find the people they thought they could count on suddenly nowhere to be found. It’s a thing. It happened to me and I’m sure, grieving or not, it’s happened to you at some point.
I went back through my photos to find a picture of an OBX sunset. Dreaming of our next vacation...and thanking God we get another chance!
When the sun went down yesterday, I breathed a sigh of relief. I was sitting in the truck in front of Walmart. After a few days of laying low at the house, Mr. FixIt was ready to get out and about a little bit. We drove to town and went to Kohl’s to get him a new belt. Then we went to our favorite diner for an early dinner. At 5:00, we drove to Walmart and the phone rang. I had a conference scheduled to discuss my brother’s care in Colorado. (He’s doing well, by the way. Just aging, as we all are.) As I was listening to his caregivers’ reports, two things happened. First, my daughter called and I had to let it go to voicemail. Then, Mr.FixIt said, “I’m going on in. I have my phone.” And off he went.
I often awaken to his hand on my shoulder. I covet this moment.
There is nothing like a health scare to shake you up....wake you up. After losing Mr. Virgo the way I did, my fear level Friday night isn’t surprising. But, now we’re here...we’re home...we’re processing. We’re walking on eggshells a little bit...feeling our way out on the ice to make sure it’s solid beneath us.
My strength comes from Heaven...the heavenly hosts who are always and forever available to me.
First, let me thank you for your prayers Friday night. This one was for us. My sweet Mr. FixIt had a stroke Friday night. It was mild, but concerning enough that he is in the hospital for a couple of nights for tests. My heart was pounding out of my chest and wave after wave of hot flushes rushed over me. Visions of the final trip to the ER with Mr. Virgo had me in a near panic.
There are times when meds are medically necessary. Having a history of problems with pain meds makes me hyper vigilant to stay away from them.
There was a time when I found myself stuck on the medical treadmill. Get treated for something. Get side effects. Get treated for the side effects. Get more side effects. Get more treatment. It was a vicious cycle and I honestly believe if I hadn’t suffered the overdose, that treadmill would have been the death of me.
I’ve shared this photo before...it shows I’ve always been a “creative organizer”.
You’ve heard of “The Running of the Bulls?” Well, every year about this time, I participate in the running of the bags. I have got to be the world’s most disorganized person. Every year...every single year...I swear that THIS year will be different. And every year, I write this same post.
We are all dragon slayers...striving to face each new day bravely!
Every day there are dragons to slay. Whether it’s climbing your way up the corporate ladder like an executive or working three jobs waiting tables as a single mom. Slaying dragons isn’t altogether “easy” as this meme intimates, but it makes a valid point. The heroes are the ones who slay the dragons and get up the next day with the intestinal fortitude to put on their armor. THAT is not easy.
So, I just took down my tree and February is nearly over. Don’t judge! lol
I’ve noticed something about the last two winters. Last year, after spending the month of January knitting every day, I sequestered myself in Big TOW-Wanda for the entire month of February writing my book. I noticed two things. First, the winter seemed to fly by because of my immersion in writing...and in spending so much time in my happy place. The second thing I noticed was an uptick in my social anxieties when travel season started. Getting out and doing things led to that old uncomfortable fear I’ve felt all my life when I have to go out into crowds of people and fulfill the expectations of others. It took a few months to desensitize myself from the isolation of being such a homebody all winter.
Building on a firm foundation ensures you can weather any storm.
I grew up believing there was a God, but I never had a relationship with Jesus until 2004. None of my relationships, decisions, or experiences were built on a firm foundation of faith. Pastor Justin spoke yesterday about building your foundation on solid rock, standing on it firmly, and believing there is a KING inside you. Recognizing that power and owning it is something I never experienced until after Mr. Virgo died.
