It wasn’t a White Christmas in West Virginia this year. And, honestly? That’s just fine with me. The “romance” of a White Christmas left me a long time ago when I lived in Colorado. The winter after Mr. Vigo died saw that snow shovel with just one name on it...mine! And I was none too happy about it, trust me. Still...if it only snowed once...at Christmas and then left, I’d be perfectly happy with that.
Here is a link to Girl Camper Moments...the branded series I write for the Girl Camper website. I share this story every year on Christmas Eve...as a reminder to me that, even though that first Christmas was so incredibly difficult, time passes and we accommodate ourselves to grief.
We learn where the edges of that jagged hole are and how to avoid falling in "ass over teakettle". It took a lot of tears and prayers, and God carried me when I was too tired to walk. My prayer is always that you find hope through my stories.
Christmas and Hanukkah overlap each other this year. It doesn’t always, as the Jewish calendar is lunar and changes year to year. I started celebrating Hanukkah as a single mom when Daughter #1 was around three years old. I rented the basement of another single mom who had two little children. Niza was Jewish and exposed me to the Jewish holidays and traditions. Then, when Hubby #2 came along and was Jewish, the traditions continued.
Mr. FixIt and I went shopping yesterday. We are at that age and stage in life when we don’t need to have a big hoopla surrounding Christmas. I needed a new winter coat. He needs a radiator on his truck. It’s kind of a wash. Since I’m not about to get a radiator and wrap it up for Christmas, I told him it was perfectly fine to go shopping together so I can try on coats and choose what I want.
This is the seventh Christmas since Mr. Virgo died. I look back over the years and remember how each one felt.
2013: The loss was so profound the first Christmas. I was numb, empty, devoid of anything but pain.
2014: The second was equally painful but in a different way. I was awake...and he was STILL gone. And by then, I was living in West Virginia on the family farm and trying to help my aunt. I now know what she was going through was early stages of dementia, but at the time it was mean spirited and got ugly on Christmas Day when I was invited to leave. That was hard.
First...let me thank you all so much for your support and kind comments on yesterday’s post. It took me a lot of introspection and a lot of prayer to come to the realization that I needed to make a change in my writing schedule. The message I kept getting from God was “It’s time.” I’m the one that kept dragging my feet and trying to argue with Him.
On March 12, 2013...my world as I knew it came crashing to an end. The future Mr. Virgo and I had planned ended right in front of me in the cold, sterile environment of a Colorado emergency room. Time stopped in that moment and I struggled to do the simplest of tasks...breathing was at the top of the list.
We woke up yesterday to a coating of white. It’s only the second time this year we’ve even had a hint of snow and it really didn’t amount to much. As a matter of fact, by the time 8:00 rolled around, it was pushing 40℉ and starting to rain. Then it rained...and rained...and RAINED! An inch had fallen by early evening and we were expecting another inch overnight.
Pastor Heather delivered a message yesterday that I felt was worthy to share with you...in my own words but using her foundation and premise. It’s about the “gifts” we find at our doorstep every morning and which ones we will choose to open.
The other night, I was sitting in the living room, reading emails and preparing to write my post. The fire was going, the Christmas tree was lit, and carols played softly in the background. All was right with the world. I get a weekly email telling me all the grand and glorious skills Alexa can do for me and it’s fun to read what’s new.
It was rainy and fairly warm yesterday and I did something I haven’t done in AGES. I spent the entire day on the couch in my fuzzy jammies with the snowflakes on them. We watched “Christmas Vacation” with Chevy Chase...a must every year. Then I put on my headphone while Mr. FixIt watched football and played on my computer all day. Yes, I fiddled a little with the websites, but not like...work. Just tweaked a bit here and there. I made brownies and beef stew on Friday so they were both even tastier yesterday. And my long time friend, Anna, called me from Belize. We talked for an hour and it was so much fun to catch up with her!