“Foggy morning at the farm.”

I’m a scientist at heart. I’ve worked in medicine since I was 17 years old. I was married to a doctor for 21 years. I am a Christian. And the question of creation versus evolution is hard for me to answer completely. As a scientist, I have seen empirical evidence of evolution. It’s difficult for me to argue with DNA and carbon dating and fossils. As a Christian, I believe that God spoke the world into existence and breathed life into all things. When we read the Bible, we are interpreting it through our current base of experiences and knowledge. We read Genesis 1:26 “Let us make man in our image.” Was God talking literally? As in, the way we look today? Humans look different than they did even a thousand years ago. We are taller and certainly bigger than our distant ancestors. So, was He speaking metaphorically? Spiritually? Was He talking about attributes we are familiar with in this day and age? Was there a Big Bang? What is time? Is it measured precisely as it was in the beginning? Was a day exactly 24 hours and a year exactly 365 days? I don’t know the answer to all of these questions because, while I am continuing to learn and grow in my faith, I have not seen God personally. I experience God daily. That is different. I will leave these questions to those who are far better educated than I. Someday, we will know.

“My Plan A. On to Plan B.”

“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.”  James 1:5 ESV

It was so pretty on the hanger, but...true confession...I didn’t try the dress on at the Country Living Fair. For one this, there was one dressing room consisting of four curtains and a mirror and a long line. It was ninety-one degrees. And I was working the booth. I thought for sure it would fit. It was way too big, but beyond that, the style just was not flattering on me. I was SO disappointed. Then I kinda freaked a little. We live in a small town and there aren’t a whole lot of options here for purchasing formal attire. 

I jumped on Pinterest and searched for “wedding dresses for the mature bride”. Apparently, a “mature” bride is 35 because that’s how old the women were modeling the dresses. And a lot of the dresses looked matronly. I really don’t want to look like the grandmother of the bride. I AM the bride, and by golly, I’m going to look like one!

“A rustic cross is just what we need to turn our tent into a House of God.”

“Little children, you are from God and have overcome them, for he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.”  1 John 4:4 ESV

I ran a million errands yesterday. Ok...it just FELT like a million. I needed thread and some sewing scissors to sew the lace extension on my wedding dress. (It’s not quite as long as I want.) I had to take all the stuff I bought yesterday over to Mr. FixIt’s and pick up the sewing machine and my wedding dress. Then I noticed a package I was expecting wasn’t delivered because I wasn’t there. I picked up the pink slip out of the mailbox and headed to the post office. On and on and on.

My last stop was at Pat Catan’s…the craft store in town. I wasn’t sure what I was looking for. I have an idea for a banner or something but I just can’t quite make up my mind. Then I saw this rustic cross. I thought it would be perfect to hang over the spot we stand with the pastor. (We have a pastor!) We aren’t getting married in a church, but we can sure bring God into the tent! As I was checking out, the clerk said, “Wow. You just bought this cross and, I don’t quite know how to tell you…you saved $6.66!” Without missing a beat, I smiled and said…”He who lives in me is greater than he who lives in the world. He doesn’t scare me!” 

“Pumpkins seem pretty pricey this year!”

“And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. To our God and Father be glory forever and ever. Amen.”  Philippians 4:19-20 ESV

I went to my small group from church last night. I shared with them my decision to go back to the farm until Mr. FixIt and I get married. I also shared what happened with the trucks. When I wrote yesterday’s post, I was concerned with the possible cost of repairs or, heaven forbid, replacement of two vehicles. So, I prayed. Fervently.

Our pastor has been stressing the importance of praying as if your prayer has already been answered. So I thanked God for fixing it so that we didn’t have to replace our vehicles. I thanked him for making the repairs simple and affordable. I also thanked him for being a loving Father and for taking such good care of us.

“I think Mr. Virgo was smiling at me today!”

“And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, "This is the way, walk in it," when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left.”  Isaiah 30:21 ESV

For those of you who have been reading this blog from the beginning, you will remember my reticence to mention God in my posts. I was very, very busy trying to make sure I didn’t offend anyone. And, of course, that is still very much my focus. But as time has passed, I have let God into my writing more and more. I always SAID I was a faith-based writer, but I really wasn’t walking the talk. That all changed one day when I got a text from God in church. That was a great story. Anyway, I’m all about Jesus anymore and I just let out what needs to come out and I don’t worry so much about it anymore.

Our Pastor frequently talks about what happens when you are truly a Christ follower. What happens when you make God the center of your life. He always says, “If you put God at the center of your life…are truly following him with all your heart…watch out! Because there’s nothing the enemy hates more than someone putting God before anything else. He attacks and causes all kinds of destruction and whispers lies 24/7 trying to convince you if God REALLY loved you…these bad things wouldn’t be happening. And, of course, it isn’t true. Nothing the enemy says is true.

“Sin starts out easily enough and soon ensnares you in a tangled web.”

“I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord. If anyone thinks that he is not behaving properly toward his betrothed, if his passions are strong, and it has to be, let him do as he wishes: let them marry—it is no sin. But whoever is firmly established in his heart, being under no necessity but having his desire under control, and has determined this in his heart, to keep her as his betrothed, he will do well.”  1 Corinthians 7:32-37 ESV

As you may remember, I lived twenty-seven years of my life as a practicing Jew, so I am quite familiar with the Days of Awe or the High Holy Days. This is the period of time from Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, and Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement. The dates vary year to year because the Jewish calendar is based on the lunar cycle so it doesn’t match up with the calendar we use daily. This year, Rosh Hashanah starts on September 29th and Yom Kippur is October 8th. It is not a coincidence that this holy time coincides with the days leading up to our wedding.

The High Holy days is a time of reflection and meditation. While Jews pray for their name to be in the Book of Life for the New Year, Yom Kippur is a solemn day of fasting and prayer, a day of atonement when you ask God to forgive you of your sins. When I made the decision to marry Mr. FixIt because I was feeling wrong living with him without being married, I had no idea the High Holy Days were coming up. 

“The change from “widow” to “engaged” deserves a moment of reflection.”

““Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.”  Matthew 7:7 NIV

I did something monumental yesterday. I changed my relationship status on Facebook from “widow” to “engaged”. Ok, in the grand scheme of things, that’s not really monumental...but it IS, you know?

Some people change their relationship status like they change their shoes. I remember that first attempt at “dating” after Mr. Virgo died. It was (I’m embarrassed to say) only five months after he died. I know, I know. Plenty of my friends and my family were like…”WTH are you DOING???” What I was doing was putting a tourniquet on my hemorrhaging heart. I went so far as to change my relationship status and knew immediately that was a HUGE error in judgment. Let’s face it…when you are grieving, good judgment goes out the window for quite some time.

“When someone prays for me, it’s like a thousand feathered angel wings wrapping around me.”

“Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.”  Colossians 4:2 NIV

I will never forget when my friend Bill told me I was on his daily prayer list ever since the overdose at the end of my second marriage. I was...stunned. Here he was, a busy Emergency Room physician and a missionary in a country and location they could not reveal for fear of being killed. And I was on his daily prayer list? 

When I finally became a Christian in 2005, the first people I told were my neighbors, Bob and Ellie. I asked them over, sat them on the couch, and told them I had accepted Christ as my personal Savior. They both immediately burst into tears and said, “Oh, we both have been praying so hard for you!” 

“The last of the flowers at the farm.”

“Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans.”  Proverbs 16:3 NIV

Wow...I don’t know how I could possibly top yesterday’s wonderful response to the news of our upcoming wedding. Thank you all so, so much for your kind words, your genuine joy, and certainly for all the prayers you offer me. They worked! All day long, my phone would send me a notification saying someone else had responded to my post and it really made my day. 

As I sat down to organize my day over coffee on the front porch, my calendar reminded me the wedding is three weeks away. Two weeks and six days now, to be precise! I started gathering addresses for invitations, but I was worried people would be making plans. So, I texted a lot of people with a picture of the invite and prefaced it with…”Well…THIS is happening!” I have almost all the invitations addressed…all but Mr. FixIt’s list. Moving right along! 

“A change is coming. Can you feel it?”

“Many claim to have unfailing love, but a faithful person who can find? The righteous lead blameless lives; blessed are their children after them.”  Proverbs 20:6-7 NIV

Yesterday, I told you there were some big decisions I’ve been working on the last few months. Today, I want to talk with you about one of them. The most important one. This is a REALLY long post...but hang in there with me. You won’t be sorry.

Not long after Mr. FixIt and I became a serious item, God started working on me. For a long time, whenever I walk into church, I say a little prayer. I always say, “Lord, if there is a personal message you have for me today, please anoint the Pastor’s words so he can deliver it to me.” Countless times, God answers my plea and the Pastor will literally come to the front of the stage, stand right in front of me, look me straight in the eye, and say something that is unmistakably personal. Something exactly about what I’ve been working on, or worrying over. I would say it’s uncanny, but what it really is…is supernatural. Our God is a supernatural God. He listens, and He communicates…through the Holy Spirit. Through a total stranger. Through your Guardian Angel. If He has a message, and you ask Him to tell you loud and clear, He doesn’t need a megaphone. He’ll beat you over the head with it if it’s something you truly need.