There is only one guarantee in life... that it will change. Sometimes on a dime. Sometimes you have no idea what prompted the changes...in circumstances, in relationships, in the world. Other times you have a pretty good understanding but are still powerless to stop it.
I have had a difficult time with change this week. Halloween is coming. Halloween has always been a very special time for me. I met Mr. Virgo on Halloween. That is such a happy memory. And now it's been ten years since that handsome man walked into my little needlework shop and changed my life forever. This is my third Halloween without him. I've reflected a lot on the changes in my life lately. People have come and gone. My life has changed in ways I could never have imagined. Sometimes change is good. Other times, it hurts like hell and there's not a darned thing you can do about it.
I seem to write a great deal about breathing. Breath is life. It is powerful, cleansing, vital. We catch our breath at the sight of something beautiful. It can be so beautiful in fact that it's breathtaking. We breathe a sigh of relief. We breathe deep the smell of rain on a breeze. Our breath quickens with passion, becomes shallow with fear. We fill our lungs and cry out with the sudden searing pain of the first breath in the moments after birth. We wait with baited breath in moments of great anticipation. We slip away with a sigh as our last breath leaves us.
When you are actively grieving, you are quite certain you will never, ever feel joy again. I had a deep instinct just three days after losing Mr. Virgo. I had stopped at the local bookstore to buy a book on grief. The only thing I knew was what I had experienced losing my grandparents and my mom. I had read a few articles by Elizabeth Kübler Ross. It didn't matter. I could have had a PhD in Psychology and I still wouldn't have been any better prepared to lose the love of my life. The books and articles meant nothing to me. I couldn't relate, mainly because I was in shock and couldn't relate to much of anything in the world.
It was a typical autumn day in West Virginia yesterday. I was driving home when I noticed this darling camper turned Cupcake Bar. I had to do a U-turn and go back. I'm so glad I did...it was a sweet diversion!
The Naked Cupcake by Simply Vintage Cakes & Catering - Parkersburg, WV 304.991.4407 Find them on Facebook HERE.
There is nothing like a good pair of cowboy boots that you've worn forever. I have a pair I've worn for nearly 30 years. They are molded to my feet. They are as comfortable as house slippers. There was a little boot scootin' going on last night. Rock 'n roll, not country, but scootin' nonetheless. I love going to venues like that and watching the younger crowd moving in and out of this play...like a choreographed dance really...checking each other out, tag teaming to get the shy girl introduced, then coming back to the table and giggling like 16 year olds.
God must delight in the change of seasons. Look at this...unbelievably beautiful! I'll bet he lines the angels up and says "Watch this!" Then He waves His arm across the land spreading red and gold and yellow across the world and they all applaud when we stop and take notice.
TOW-Wanda had a "Doctor" appointment at the RV hospital in Columbus yesterday. Her water heater stopped working in Myrtle Beach. I went ahead and had her winterized while I was there. I've been taking things out of the cabinets. Some stuff is getting pitched. Some comes in the house with me. I'm not sure how I'm going to handle sleeping in the house. I'll try it but I've got mixed feelings. If money was no object, I would head South. But then I would miss all the really cool opportunities for hanging with my WV friends and going to hear live music.
You've seen that cartoon on FB where the '50s mom is telling her little girl that "normal" is just a setting on the dryer? Well, "control" is just a function on a keyboard. Oh, granted...there are things we can control. Our behaviors, our choices, the temperature in the car, the playlist on the iPad. But what I'm talking about is when we get in the business of trying to control everything...other people, namely.
It is no coincidence that this phrase is found 365 times in the Bible. God wants us to be strong in Him...to be fearless...to fear less. I'm here to tell you, facing life without that supportive one, that strong one, that helpmate and sounding board who is no longer there for you physically can strike terror in your heart. The worst thing is making the big decisions without the one person whose opinion you valued over all others. You aren't alone in this. Everyone who has suffered loss struggles with fear, especially in the wee small hours of the night.
I have an excessive fear of abandonment. Oh, it's not as bad as it was before I met Mr. Virgo, but it's still something I deal with in life and relationships. The fear of abandonment is primal. It can help us form bonds in relationships. But it can also sabotage us at every turn when it's given too much fuel.
To be back home again? Good gracious...it was 27 degrees yesterday when I went out to hook up TOW-Wanda! Wowza! It was a beautiful sunny day for a drive. The colors aren't as fabulous as I had hoped because there have been a few frosts this week but it was still quite lovely.
I originally posted there was a death at Saturday's Bridge Day when a B.A.S.E. jumper's chute failed to open. Thank God that was in error. I made the mistake that is actually one of my own pet peeves and reported on something I saw posted without checking the date. It happened in 2006. Still, it is a thrilling sport with inherent dangers.
