I've had the big trailer for 9 months now. She's 29'5" from the hitch to the spare tire on the back. That's long when you're used to 16'. Add the truck and I'm a good 42' long with a topper and a kayak. I'm definitely haulin'!

This life isn't for everybody. I've had women drop their jaw when they learn I live full time in this thing. Most men want to give me a high five. I tried explaining to someone how I don't like sleeping inside houses now because they make me feel claustrophobic. It's not the SIZE…it's the idea of being cooped up in one spot. I feel sorry for people whose views never change. They don't know the joy of taking off on vacation and packing everything you own. You literally have everything you need right behind you. I love traveling and pulling over at lunch time to fix something to eat, stretching out for a little siesta, then heading back out on the open road.

Way, WAY back in the day, I used to bake competitively. There were three of us gals…Ryb, Judy, and me…that would enter three pies into Saturday's competition, and three cakes on Sunday's at the Carbondale Mountain Fair. Almost without fail, the Three Amigas would take home all of the ribbons! SO unfair…but SO fun! Invariably, the field would be heavily laden with "Death By Chocolate" and any manor of liqueur-laced lovelies so I would try to come up with something different that would catch the judges by surprise. This yummy taste of sunshine won me one of those coveted ribbons and has become the all-time family favorite for birthdays.

My oldest daughter turned 41 yesterday. Seriously? How did she get older than me? Honestly, I feel 35 inside most of the time…like I'm in some kind of time warp. The years whip by at a dizzying pace, but my perceived age remains the same. I look at my hands when arthritis makes my joints ache and wonder what could have happened to them. I look at the lines on my face in photographs and wonder when I became my grandma. I distinctly remember what it felt like to kiss her cheeks…how safe it made me feel. And it makes me smile in wonder that my grandchildren may feel the same when they kiss mine.

There are a lot of storms in life. You would be hard pressed to find anyone who could honestly say they had been untouched by calamity. Some people suffer storm after storm and never seem to catch a break. Others are ducks bobbing in a pond and nothing seems to touch them. But you simply cannot weather the storm of grief without coming out the other side a changed person (not that there IS an "other side"…it's more a case of the clouds parting…for longer and longer intervals.)

My older grand daughter has a goal. She wants to be on the 2020 Olympics swim team. She's a driven kid and hopes to go to college on either an academic or swim scholarship. She starts a college prep school in the fall. She's 11!

I don't know about you, but I was playing with Barbies at 11. I'm what they prudently called a "late bloomer" back in the day. I wanted to be a mechanical engineer but I was told girls weren't suited to be engineers. I was so bored in school. I remember sitting in my "guidance counsellor's" office once. I can't tell you what was discussed but I can guarantee it wasn't about what college I planned to go to. I did go to x-ray school but everything else I've done has been by my own volition. I never had the opportunity to go to college but I put my second husband through medical school. And my ex and I made sure my daughters got a college education. My oldest is a shining example to her own daughters by working full time, parenting them, getting them to swim practice seven times a week, AND going back to school for her Master's Degree. So this will be a busy and exciting weekend…my daughter's and son-in-law's 41st birthdays, their 20th Wedding Anniversary, and a 3-day swim meet! Then I get the kids for a week!

This is the weirdest weather year just about everywhere. I wish I had my electric blanket on my bed…and I'm not in the mountains. I'm sure glad it wasn't this cold last week when I was camping in the tent at 9,000 feet!

I'm always reminded of the difference in perspective. In the spring…after a long, cold winter…when the temperature hits 58, we're out in shirtsleeves and shorts playing frisbee in the park. But you give us 58 in the middle of July and it feels like October! We're pulling out the sweatshirts and wool socks. I used to always complain about how cold I was and Mr. Virgo said it was all in my head and if I just imagined myself warm, I would be. Then he bought me a fur coat so go figure! lol

That's Yiddish/German for "OMG!" I went to Zaidy's yesterday…a Jewish deli. (Zaidy is Yiddish for Grandpa.) I lived 27 years of my life as a Jewish mother. When Hubby #2 joined a practice in a small town in the mountains in Colorado, we started organizing dinners, parties, and holidays for the Jews (and lapsed Jews and latent Jews) in our little community. I love the holidays and traditions and most of all…the food! My picture was often in the newspaper cooking some delicacy or other…or lighting the Menorah with my younger daughter to celebrate Chanukah. My favorite meal to prepare was the Passover Seder. Matzoh ball soup, gefilte fish, chopped liver, brisket, potato kugel. Oh…enough to make you swoon! We started out with about 10 guests the first year. I finally had to move the Seder to a bigger venue after serving a sit down dinner for 45 people in our basement. After that, it was held in the basement of the Presbyterian Church and the last one I organized and cooked for sat 75. That's one thing a Jewish mother does best….feed a ton of people! I got great satisfaction from it.

Ok, second spoiler alert…I'm going to talk about the movie "I'll See You In My Dreams" again. Sorry…last time, I promise. So, if you haven't seen it and want to, stop reading. I'll be back with something you can read tomorrow! ❤

Yesterday was a totally unexpected, off-the-wall, down, blue funk day. Even though my entire post yesterday was written about the movie I watched the night before, and even though I expressed that I no longer live in fear of losing another love, that movie knocked my feet out from under me for just a little bit. It was so unexpected, that sad twist in the plot. It took me forever to fall asleep and then I honestly didn't want to do anything all day yesterday. So, you know what I did? Absolutely nothing…other than go to my favorite German bakery for a pastry and to a needlework shop I found. My day was not totally wasted. I did SOMEthing. But mostly, I did nothing. And that's perfectly ok. It's been a long, long time since I spent a whole day wanting to pull the covers over my head. Of course, it didn't help that it was a grey, cold, drizzly day…all day long. I'm not going to berate myself for the self-care laden, bed surfing day that I obviously needed. Grief sucks but…today's another day and the sun rose yet again.

Spoiler alert: I'm going to talk about the movie "I'll See You In My Dreams" so if you haven't seen it and want to, stop reading now.

I assumed this movie was going to have a happy ending and I suppose, in a way, it did. Just not the one I was hoping for. Blythe Danner plays Carol…a widow of 20 years who has lived a comfortable, safe life since losing her husband in a terrible accident. She has girlfriends and a daughter but she doesn't step outside her comfort zone until a series of events shake her world. She loses her beloved dog, makes an unlikely friendship over karaoke with the pool cleaner, goes ape over a rat that plagues her house, and gets coerced into speed dating by one of her girlfriends. Then…in walks Bill, played by Sam Elliot. He's so handsome, and intriguing and shakes up her world. She begins to believe there may be another love in store for her when Bill unexpectedly dies very soon after they begin dating. Damn. This is NOT what I was expecting. I wanted them to fall in love and live happily ever after, but that's not how life works. Life is messy and seldom has fairy tale endings.

Twenty years ago, a group of us were going to go whitewater rafting on the Colorado River on Memorial Day. I had never rafted before and was told I needed good, waterproof, strap-on sandals to wear. I bought a pair of Chacos and absolutely loved them! They have terrific arch support and are actually the only sandals that keep me from getting plantar fasciitis flares. I have worn this pair for twenty years, every day that's warm enough to let my toes out. The soles are finally worn nearly through and after this last trip, I noticed the sole is cracking. I fixed it with Super Glue, but really…it's only a matter of time before they fall apart. I know it's crazy, but I have a tremendous emotional attachment to these shoes. They embody summer to me. And they are literally molded by my feet. But, they have to go…when something comes into the camper, something goes out!