Oh….I dearly love my coffee. I have so little storage space in this camper but by golly, I've got a top of the line burr grinder, a Peugeot hand grinder, three French presses, a drip coffee maker and an espresso machine. I have three kinds of coffee, flavorings, sweeteners. I have insulated cups, a big cappuccino cup, and a little blue coffee mug with a white bow on it from Tiffany. I have no shame. I am a coffee snob. I'm a complicated woman with a complicated coffee order. (Venti, non-fat, extra hot, no foam, two stevia latte, please.)
The summer after Mr. Virgo died, I began what I referred to as "The Grand Adventure". Not only was I going out in the world to do and see things I had never experienced before, I was also doing it all alone…for the first time in my life. I had taken respite weekends before, but nothing like I was about to face. It was daunting and exhilarating, melancholic and joyful. It was a time of many violent shifts in my psyche, my mood, my thinking. I wasn't at all sure I could DO it…period. Let alone, do it alone. But I knew I needed to. I needed to take the first step down the path or I would never make it through the valley of death that is grief.
Sometimes, after a perfect day, one is left totally spent and without words. Yesterday was such a day.
Coffee with classmates, a 15 mile bike ride, great salad for lunch, a trip to the bike shop and mall, then the evening spent with friends. Perfectly happy!
Who can possibly fill these shoes? This is a topic I've tap danced around some. I've dallied a little in the dating department. I've met a couple of wonderful men…men that I love dearly and consider to be close friends. I can call them day or night for company or conversation. So why don't I find myself feeling the kind of love for someone that would sustain a long term, exclusive, "can't live without you" relationship? I felt that love in the instant Mr. Virgo and I made eye contact. My old instincts would ask "What's wrong with you? These are perfectly good men, kind hearted, gentle, loving, fun, funny. What are you waiting for?" Well, it's interesting. It's like going out to photograph wildlife with poor vision. You can see the animal in your view finder, you can tell it's an animal and quite possibly that rare breed you're looking for, so you creep in closer. You step gently, stealing in quietly for a closer look. Hmmm…looks familiar, sounds familiar, acts a little like the one you're looking for. But then you get close enough to see and it's not the right one at all. The call is totally different. The coat similar but just not the same. Where did your animal go? Will you ever find another one or should you just be happy you saw one once and got a great picture of it?
During the long, dark, freezing weeks of January and February, all I wanted to do was go back to Colorado to the arms of those who love me most. Now it's spring and all I want to do is go explore WV and camp in the mountains, attend music festivals, and ride my bike along rivers. I put up with the worst WV winter in decades only to leave when the fun starts. What's up with that? However, I need to have summer in Colorado. I want to play with my grandkids and take them camping before they get too old for Nana. I want to have long, leisurely conversations with my daughters. I want to hug my brother around the neck. I want to go out and play with my friends there. Summers in Colorado are divine! Beautiful blueblaster skies and so many fun things to do! I wish I had two trailers and a time machine…I'd keep a home in both places and time travel between them. Why is life so short???
I'm so excited! My taxes are done. Yesterday I went for a 10 mile bike ride on the Rails to Trails system. Riding dirt, grass, and mud is a lot more work than a paved trail so I was pleased with 10 miles. Today I'm getting the summer tires put on my truck. (Yesssss!) I have a boatload of work to do in the next week to prepare TOW-Wanda for her maiden voyage of the 2015 camping season. Yes, that's right…next week I'm going on a women's camping adventure to Nashville for the annual Country Living Fair! I can't wait!!!
Ok, ok, ok…I'm the QUEEN of procrastination! I sat down yesterday at 10:00 to work on my taxes. Piece of cake, I said. A full FOURTEEN hours later, Turbo Tax is taunting me with "We've only found TWELVE items that need your attention." Seriously??? I mean…SERIOUSLY? I have no one to blame but myself. 'Cause, hey…there's only ME. In my defense, I have always filed my taxes on my big desktop computer. It's been packed away since last June. In the process of downsizing, my really super big monitor went by the wayside and I substituted it with the small one Mr. Virgo used for photography. I pulled the CPU out from under the couch in my camper and set it up….hmmmmm, ok…on my bed. That'll work.
I love this time of year. I come out of hibernation ready to move. I'm glad I worked out some over the winter so it wasn't a total shock to my system getting back out there. Frank the FitBit says I walked almost 4.5 miles yesterday so that's great. I really wanted to ride my bike too but it was late in the afternoon and 84 degrees so I settled for walking. My walking buddy came with me and regaled me with funny stories to take my mind off exercising. That made it go faster. Once I get started, I really do enjoy exercise. But it is SO wicked hard for me to get started. Then, once I start exercising, it's far easier to rein in my diet because I KNOW how far you have to walk to work off a slice of pizza! Once I get my brain working like that, I'm good to go.
What a beautiful weekend! Live music Friday night. This is a tradition I intend to keep up. Saturday morning was a trip to Athens to the local Farmer's Market. I got fresh farm eggs, sweet potatoes, a small rhubarb pie, and some really great artisanal pepper jack cheese. Yummmm! Afterwards, we went across town and rode our bikes for an hour (about 12 miles) on a beautiful path along the river. It meandered through the woods and farms. It felt so good to go out and pump my legs and feel the burn. To feel the wind across my face reminded me I'm indeed in my second childhood…that time when we aren't too old to play outside and we don't have to necessarily "mind".
Things don't always happen the way you plan. Just ask my friend, Gwyneth (not her real name, but a great alter-ego!) Gwyn texted me last night with the devastating news that her only child, her beautiful boychik, had just TEXTED her to tell her he and his girlfriend are getting married tomorrow. By a Justice of the Peace. She was devastated. And understandably so. We have a mental image. We have social standards. We have a ritual for marriage…a model. He not only shattered his mama's dreams, but he did it via a text. (That's a whole blog post right there. We'll get back to that down the road.) So, she turned to me for support and commiseration. Poor Gwyn…when will she ever learn I look at these things with a very twisted sense of humor?
