My brother/friend, Greg, sent me this photo of his dinner the other night when we were chatting online. He is a worldly man and mentioned this meal would easily feed three people in some countries. Most Americans live with such abundance.
I've been thinking a lot about abundance lately. Drastically downsizing and living in a camper on a riverbank without running water through the coldest, snowiest winter West Virginia has seen in years has been an enlightening experience. It not only has taught me how little I need, it has shown me just how abundant my life has become. I live in the lap of luxury compared to many. It has made me grateful for the simplest pleasures…a hot bath, laundry facilities, good music, stimulating conversation. There is something primal going on here. My joy titer is on the rise.
The idiom "Good fences make good neighbors." generally means it's easier to get along with your neighbor if you respect each other's property. I think there is a deeper meaning we can grasp here. I look at "good fences" as boundaries….something I haven't always been good at setting. Here I am…nearly 62 and I still am learning to set boundaries with people.
Grief shuts you down. After Mr. Virgo died, my world went silent. No TV. No Music. Even the sounds of a loving, boisterous family set my teeth on edge. I retreated within myself. Not necessarily in a depression like I have felt in the past. It was more like grief sucking the life out of me and placing me in a vacuum. A place I needed to go to heal…but not to set up camp forever.
Almost Heaven. Mountain Mama. Even with the disappointment of not getting to live on the family farm and struggling through some pretty rough winter weather in a camper, West Virginia still holds an allure for me. I have really been looking forward to spending spring here. I've only had one spring in WV since I left for good in 1975. I'm looking forward to the dogwood and redbud blooming. The spring flowers are already popping up here and there. Trees are budding, birds are singing, peepers are…well, peeping. I woke up early Tuesday and listened to the day begin. And it really felt like spring even though it was much cooler than Monday's high of 72.
No, not in TOW-Wanda, thank you, God! My friend Janet and I were sorting through boxes upstairs in the cellar house out at the farm on Monday. I had invested in a really powerful ultrasonic rodent repellant last fall. I was certain it would keep mice out of my boxes but there was evidence I was mistaken. I opened a dish pack and was about one third through it when a very large mouse jumped out straight at me! I almost wet my pants. Now, I am not afraid of mice per se but their erratic movements startle me.
How many of you have been in a relationship where "fixing" was the primary focus? OMGosh! That is a NO WIN situation. My second marriage was all about fixing each other. He wasn't demonstrative. I tried to fix that and magically turn him into the huggy-kissy man I needed. I was needy, overweight, and depressed and he tried to fix that and turn back the hands of time. It was exhausting and fruitless. And it wasted about ten precious years of our lives. When Mr. Virgo came along, there was nothing to be fixed. We just fit. And we could rest in that. We were an oasis in a great big desert.
Ok, it's not OFFICIALLY spring yet, but the peepers came out this weekend and that's a sure sign we're on the right side of winter. I swear, I feel as though the governor called and stayed my execution…I couldn't be any more relieved that the warm days are here.
The weekend was filled with great music, wonderful friends, and good food. The weather was warm and sunny. Consequently, the river is cresting this morning. We didn't get the rain that was predicted so I think the flooding won't be quite as bad as they thought.
Living large has such a different look now than it did even just a couple of years ago. I've been a single mother on welfare. I've been a doctor's wife. And I've been in a moderately affluent marriage where the most valuable currency was love and attention. Honey, trust me…a housekeeper is nice but I'll take the love and attention any day of the week over a new car every three years. Without question.
There's something about listening to live music that speaks to my soul. I love the ambiance of an intimate venue. My brother friend Greg says there are many venues in the valley where I lived in Colorado but I just didn't know about them and probably wouldn't have gone if I did. Consequently, I have experienced far more entertainment in the last few weeks than I have in years. It's good for my spirit.
The fog rolled in heavy and lay across the river, dampening the sounds of the night. The trains signaled their approach far before they reached the crossing, sending an echo through the valley that made me shiver. The morning dawned, chill and gray. Yet the day promised sunshine and warmth. I picked up a friend and headed for the country. We went to Berdine's Five & Dime and were like two kids in a candy store. She bought several birthday gifts. I bought a couple of things for the camper. We both bought chocolates at the penny candy counter. We went to the old Stout's Hardware for a paint brush. We stopped at the cemetery on the way to the farm. Last fall I buried a lock of Mr. Virgo's hair between the headstones in the family plot and marked it with a fork (a nod to his career in food and beverage). I sat on a stone and regaled my friend with fun Mr. Virgo stories, we laughed, and I left him some of my chocolate. We went to the farm and took a whole pickup load of my stuff to the church thrift store. There were a few boxes that I had to pass over as unacceptable emotional territory to attempt to go through yesterday such as items from Mr. Virgo's dresser. Ultimately, I sent my wedding dress on it's way. Someone will love it as much as I did. Then we came back to town, went out to dinner, and toasted to great men, brave widows, good friends, and promising futures! It was a beautiful, beautiful day. And thus begins the third year.
