I called my second ex-husband (yes, Mr. Virgo was hubby #3. Third time’s the charm, right?) to wish him Happy Father’s Day. He was driving and a captive audience so we had a nice, long conversation. The subject came around to the question of how I am doing. After awhile, he commented that this whole process is really complicated. As usual, I think of what I SHOULD have said a day or so after the fact. What I should have said was, I don’t look at it as complicated. Complicated has a certain negative connotation to it. I look at my loss and the grief that follows as complex and multifaceted. You figure out one thing at a time but you are faced with an ever changing landscape to navigate. I view this whole process as a diamond. The more facets there are, the more valuable it is. The more lessons I can learn. The more directions I can grow. We are faced with many losses in life. When you face yours, look for the diamonds.
As a widow, I have been finding myself still having trouble making a real meal. I mean a real, fix-a-few-things-and-sit-at-the-table-and-eat kind of meal. I had dinner with my dear, “little brother” last night and he cooked. It was a simple meal…an Indian dish served over rice. But it kick-started me into rethinking my dining habits.
Mr. Virgo did his PhD thesis on the loss of real dining as a society, so meals in our home were an occasion. I know I have spoken of this before, but thought I would revisit the issue since it has been three months since he died and I’m still not really cooking the kind of meal I could sit down and savor.
Another shot from The Grand Adventure, Part 2. My friend, Sue, and I had just watched the Iron Horse Classic where crazy people race the train from Durango to Silverton. For those of you who have driven that, you know what a major deal that would be. For those who have done it, I’m sorry I called you crazy. :-)
These Colorado skies can turn on a dime and bring severe weather in a flash. I got home from dinner tonight and the neighbor’s big shed is in my yard, up against the fence on the other neighbor’s side. Stuff everywhere. It was too dark to do anything and it’s not going anywhere.
Please pray for those affected by the devastating wildfires in Colorado. Please pray for rain…we need it desperately.
When Mr. Virgo and I traveled, we were always on the lookout for wildlife…which we seldom saw. This trip is amazing…wildlife around every corner…literally!!! Thank you, sweetheart!
And there she is….TOW-Wanda! Dressed in all her finery at the “Home on the Grange” event for Sisters on the Fly! I knew that coat was going to come in handy some day!
Tomorrow is my 60th birthday. I never dreamed when I celebrated my 59th that it would be my last birthday with Mr. Virgo. It’s funny how just when you thought you had it all figured out, life hands you something you need to learn how to handle to survive. But, as my dear friend Patty tells me, it’s not whether you survive that counts. It’s whether you can thrive that counts…a sort of “Bloom where you are planted” theory. I like that. So, here’s what I did today. I went out and bought a fly-fishing rod and reel and booked a guided wade trip for July 18th when the Green Drakes are hatching and I’m going to learn a new skill that will not only give me something fun to do, but will also help me meet other like-minded individuals to expand my social circle. I’m telling you, if my 60’s are as much fun as my 50’s were, I’m in for a heck of a treat!!!
Lupine catching the first morning rays. Sylvan Lake State Park.
Today was the memorial for Mr. Virgo at the Ritz Carlton in Aspen Highlands where he worked. So many nice things were said. I had the opportunity to address the staff (around 100 or so were there). Then we went out and dedicated the pine tree they planted off the side of the patio of the restaurant he managed. The fellow that Mr. Virgo hired to play guitar every Wednesday in the lobby was there. He just loved my husband and said every time he played this song, he would walk by and give him a big thumbs up. He proceeded to sing John Denver’s “Annie’s Song”. I’m fine in these situations till I hear music then I’m a mess. But it was a lovely event and they served Philly Cheese Steak sandwiches in honor of Mr. Virgo’s Philadelphia roots. The ladies and gentlemen of the Ritz are a lovely group of people.
Wow, the last couple of weeks flew by. I stayed off the grid for most of it. I didn’t have electricity, cell service or Internet and I’m telling you, there’s something to be said for getting away from everything. I went first to the Front Range to stay the night then off to my first Sisters on the Fly Event, which was a complete blast! I met some great gals. We had an event at the Altona Grange and gave tours of our trailers and raised money for both the Grange and for Casting for Recovery, a charity that provides fly fishing expeditions for breast cancer patients and survivors. On Sunday, 6/2, I drove on up to Rocky Mountain National Park and stayed two nights, then back to Denver to watch the grandchildren. We “practice camped” in their other grandma’s driveway. What a hoot! Then on Thursday night, I drove up into the Poudre Canyon. I guess I really didn’t know how bad the fire was up there last year. It was pretty devastated. I stayed one night in Dutch George Campground near the west end of the canyon where the fire damage wasn’t so bad. I love sleeping next to a river…very soothing.
