“Sunset over The Ponderosa”

“Yet another said, "I will follow you, Lord, but let me first say farewell to those at my home." Jesus said to him, "No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God."” ‭‭Luke‬ ‭9:61-62‬ ‭ESV‬‬

We lead such busy lives these days. Honestly, I’m not sure how I accomplished all this AND worked 60 hours a week AND all that comes with kids, grandkids, a husband, a house, and a dog. Things slipped through the cracks all the time. Papers piled up, as did the dishes and the laundry. Bills were occasionally overlooked and late. I did everything half-a$$ed and nothing especially well. The one thing I didn’t do was have a relationship with God.

Oh, it’s not like I ignored Him completely. I was always whispering to him with requests. “Please, Lord” this and “Please Lord” that. But to actually invest myself in a relationship? Not a chance. I didn’t have time. I put Him on the back burner like the quilt I was going to finish and never did.

“Trying to keep up with the jungle of vegetation on the farm.”

“For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.” ‭‭Galatians‬ ‭1:10‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Parts of West Virginia have already received 36” of rain and the year is only half over. The average rainfall here is 44” annually. What this creates is something akin to a tropical rainforest. And, unless you absolutely stay on top of it, things like creeks can quickly become overgrown and clogged up. This presents a huge problem if, say, a culvert gets backed up. In our case, the creek runs right along the house. If it overflowed, it could undermine the foundation and then we’d be in big trouble.

While my uncle was here, I had a fellow come and give us an estimate for clearing out the brush, vines, saplings, and briars that had accumulated since the creek was last cleared…four years ago. I had long ago decided I was not going to get down in that snake infested place with a weed eater and a chain saw at the age of sixty-five. Especially when the heat index is pushing 100 degrees. Fortunately, my uncle agreed, we told the fellow what we wanted and agreed on a price. $200 from the road up to behind the house as well as the removal of several years of poison ivy growth up on the barn. An absolute bargain, if you ask me.

“The garden. In my mind, it’s huge and full of marvelous potential. In reality, three bean plants came up out of two plantings.”

“Who has put wisdom in the inward parts or given understanding to the mind?” ‭‭Job‬ ‭38:36‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Byron Katie wrote “When I argue with reality, I lose...but only 100% of the time.” As I have contemplated the events of Thursday night with my aunt, I have ruminated over our relationship these last 65 years. This is the aunt I came to West Virginia to help four years ago. That particular venture lasted ten very long and miserable weeks...for both of us. On Christmas Day she rather unceremoniously invited me to leave. And I did so gracefully. She wasn’t ready to have someone living with her full time. I wasn’t ready to devote myself to such an undertaking. It had only been a year and a half since losing Mr. Virgo. So, God did what God does...He removed me from the situation and planted me where He wanted me.

This particular aunt has always been referred to as “The Cruise Director” in my family. She tells people to jump and they ask “How High?” on the way up. That’s not me. So, we butted heads a lot. She was a school teacher. She expected children to mind her. That was not me. I talked a blue streak and was filled with exuberant curiosity. We were always just out of step with each other, but I always still loved her. I thought she loved me. Maybe she did, maybe she didn’t. Doesn’t matter.

“A lone little daisy…all on her own.”

“For the Lord gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding;” ‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭2:6‬ ‭ESV

A friend of mine tagged me on a Facebook post yesterday. It seems there was a woman walking the Quincy Hill steps alone when she was approached by someone with nefarious intent. She said every bell and whistle was going off and she knew if she hadn’t been able to get away and outrun this guy, something bad would have happened. My friend knows how many times I have climbed those steps alone. She wanted me to know so I would be more careful.

I haven’t walked those steps alone for about two years now. For a number of reasons, not the least of which is my knees giving me fits from walking said steps so much. But also, my common sense seems to have returned to me after taking a few years off after losing Mr. Virgo.

“There’s nothing more soothing than a Popsicle when you are recovering from surgery!”

“For I will restore health to you, and your wounds I will heal, declares the Lord...'” ‭‭Jeremiah‬ ‭30:17‬ ‭ESV‬‬

I cannot remember a time in my life that didn’t include Popsicles. One of my earliest memories is my mom breaking a twin pop to share with my brother on a hot summer day. Orange was always my favorite, but grape runs a close second. Or is it cherry? I never liked banana. Other than that, it was fair game.

As I was recuperating from this surgery, some things became apparent to me. The last time I had surgery was in 1999 when I had my sinuses done. Not a pleasant surgery with nasal splints and sleeping sitting up in a recliner. But still, I was 46. It was a relative walk in the park. As we…ummmm, “ripen”…we don’t bounce back quite as fast as we used to. Anesthesia and 3-4 Vicodin over a 24 hour period and I was toast. The pain was well-controlled, but I just hate the feeling narcotics gives me so I switched to Tylenol. Everything was going along pretty well, except I was really tired. Then, Monday night the pain hit. A burning, stabbing pain deep in the area where the tumor was removed kept me awake all night. I finally drifted off around 5:00am and slept a couple of hours.

“In that day you will ask nothing of me. Truly, truly, I say to you, whatever you ask of the Father in my name, he will give it to you. Until now you have asked nothing in my name. Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full.” ‭‭John‬ ‭16:23-24‬ ‭ESV‬‬

I used to hear “Wouldn’t it be awesome if people wouldn’t leave their houses without their Bibles like they worry about forgetting their cellphones?” Now, unless you have a phone from the stone ages, you can download the Bible app and have it with you wherever you go.

I had the app on my phone for a long time before I regularly used it. I guess I sort of thought I would absorb it by osmosis or something. But, like taking a necessary medication, it doesn’t work if you leave it on the shelf. You have to do your part and read.

“Your focus will dictate how you fare in this life.”

“The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever. Do not forsake the work of your hands.” ‭‭Psalms‬ ‭138:8‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Medication.

Meditation.

The difference is in the focus. Where we put our energy. Where we let our thoughts go. What we believe will work.

I opted for the “quick fix” back in the day. I had an inordinate amount of trust in doctors and Western Medicine. I trusted in the diagnosis. I was younger. More naive. I craved escape. I was afraid. Of everything…life, love, and losing it all. And, consequently…I nearly did.

“Let Freedom Ring!”

“For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.” ‭‭Galatians‬ ‭5:1‬ ‭ESV‬‬

I just finished writing July’s post for the Sisters on the Fly blog. I wrote about the many freedoms we are blessed with beyond Independence Day. The audience for that blog is women campers. There is a certain reservation in my writing there as I am paid to do so. Therefore, I am somewhat constrained in my topics. I always check in with them ahead of time, find out what their theme of the month is, and write accordingly. It’s not like this blog where I speak my heart and my truth. So I’ll write the “Marshmallow Ranch” version of that blog here.

Independence Day. The 4th of July is coming soon. Images of family gatherings, cookouts, baseball games, fireworks. That’s what it’s all about, right? Well, yes…and no. In 1776, our forefathers of this nation set forth a document that outlined our beliefs pertaining to our independence from Great Britain. Man made laws that apparently gave us our freedom. However, we were given freedom long, long before this document was drawn up. At least…we were given the choice.

“The empty nest can be painful, no matter which of you leaves first.”

“For I want you to know how great a struggle I have for you and for those at Laodicea and for all who have not seen me face to face, that their hearts may be encouraged, being knit together in love, to reach all the riches of full assurance of understanding and the knowledge of God's mystery, which is Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. I say this in order that no one may delude you with plausible arguments. For though I am absent in body, yet I am with you in spirit, rejoicing to see your good order and the firmness of your faith in Christ.” ‭‭Colossians‬ ‭2:1-5‬ ‭ESV‬‬

I got married young the first time. I was nineteen. I thought I knew everything! I was just about finished with x-ray training. Hubby #1 and I literally grew up together. Our families have known each other since long before we were born. The day after graduation, I hopped on a plane and flew to England to join him. He was stationed there in the Air Force. I had never been on a plane before. I cannot imagine what that must have been like for my mom. She still had my brother at home. He has a developmental disability and always lived at home with her, so she never did have that “empty nest”. But I know she missed me terribly and it had to have been so worrisome for her to have me so far away the very first time I left home.

My older daughter got married when she was twenty-one. It wasn’t too long after that when she and her new husband moved to Long Island. I thought THAT was way too far and it just about killed me. I was having trouble in my marriage. Her younger sister was only five years old. I hated having them so far away. I visited as often as I could, but it was a really hard time for both of us. We had always been very close. A half-empty nest is just as painful.

“Ice Cream and Miracles!”

“When that day comes, you won’t ask me any more questions. I can guarantee this truth: If you ask the Father for anything in my name, he will give it to you.” ‭‭John‬ ‭16:23‬ ‭GW‬‬

The doctor came in and said all the worrisome tissue was removed and from his experience, he was sure the tumor is benign. No lifting or raising my arms for a few days. No shower for 48 hours then just gentle cleansing for two weeks. The skin was closed with SuperGlue with dissolving stitches in the layers below. No riding mower, pool, or hot tub for two weeks. I have to wear a tight sports bra for support and compression for the next few weeks.

On the way home, there was a terribly hard rain with localized flooding. We went north to take the interstate and avoid the flooded roads in town. As soon as we pulled on the highway, it started raining so hard the windshield wipers could not keep up. There were cars pulled off with their flashers on. We turned ours on and crept along. I grabbed the cross I have hanging in the truck and said, “Jesus! Take this storm away!!!” I kid you not, we didn’t drive fifty more feet and the sky immediately lightened up and the rain nearly stopped!