I did something the other day that I absolutely SWORE I would never do again. I bought a television. I was at Sam’s Club picking up some things and there was an incredible deal on a 40" Samsung Smart TV. I’ve been wanting to watch some of my collection of movies and this seemed like a good deal. Besides the movies, it’s not a bad idea to stay connected when there is a tragedy…like yesterday’s emergency on the OSU campus. I have to say, I felt ill after watching the news for a short time so I checked back in occasionally for updates instead of staying glued to it.
The other day, I drifted off on the sofa and began to dream. It wasn’t an action dream like a movie. It was more like a slide show of stills. A picture of this. A memory of that. Then…quite suddenly, and without warning…Mr. Virgo was standing in front of me. He was holding something in his hand…a newspaper, perhaps? And he was carrying his briefcase over his shoulder. He was wearing a nice, charcoal grey suit. He was looking straight at me with a smile on his face which conveyed a sense of calm in me…in the moment.
The “Crazy Cat Lady Kit” arrived while I was gone for Thanksgiving. I returned well after dark and emptied the truck. I had just settled into a long awaited bath when I heard the plaintive cries of a tiny kitten. I thought I was hearing things. I don’t have a kitten. I CAN’T have a kitten! I don’t WANT a kitten! After my bath, I went out back and sure enough, someone dumped a little orange and white kitten who was scared and looking for mama. I put out some extra food because it’s big enough to feed itself. But it was obvious it missed someone. It cried all night.
I’m the only person I know who can turn a four-hour drive into a twelve-hour adventure and spend less than twenty bucks! I left my cousin’s early yesterday and drove up to my uncle’s house. I took my aunt a sack of McDonald’s sausage biscuits…her favorite. I took my time and made a last-minute decision to drive up to Canaan Valley Lodge for the best chef salad I believe I have ever had. There were only two other people in the restaurant and the wait staff were most attentive and fun to talk with. I stopped in Elkins, Buchanan, and Weston. The Christmas Parade was about to take place but I scooted through town instead of stopping for some small town American fun. I had to drive slowly to keep from hitting the deer who were out in force. I made another last minute decision and stopped at the cemetery to pay my respects to my family for Thanksgiving. Two years ago, I placed a few strands of Mr. Virgo’s hair between a couple of the headstones so I can visit him there, too. I am so grateful that the pain of losing him has, for the most part, turned into gratitude for having had him and happiness for the memories he gave me. I got home and answered messages and called the neighbor to let her know I was home and to thank her for feeding the cats for me. It was a wonderful trip and a great Thanksgiving.
Thanksgiving in rural West Virginia. Work still needs to be done on a farm…no matter what day it is. The son-in-law’s field next door grows some sort of inedible huckleberry bushes that cows won’t eat. And it chokes out the hay. It overgrows when the pH is off in the ground so the field needed brush-hogged (a brush hog is a really big mower that will cut through small trees and scrub brush) and then very finely ground limestone spread on it. All hands are needed when a big job comes up and Thanksgiving is the perfect opportunity with the extra company around.
I have more to be grateful for than I could possibly recount here, but I’ll list a few.
LOVE - I am grateful for the deep love I have in my life. Those closest to me are my rocks and I can never adequately thank them for all they do for me. To give love is divine. To be given love in return is a precious gift I will never take for granted.
I wrote this two years ago. I think it bears repeating with the holidays approaching.
The Ugly Side of Grief
Remember when you and I first started this journey? I told you I would speak from my heart. I would speak my truth as it is in the moment. I would tell you what it’s like to walk this path and I told you that sometimes it wouldn’t be pretty. Remember that? Well, I’m writing this at midnight and tonight is one of those nights that’s just not pretty.
Borrowing from part of Sunday’s sermon, I’m going to run with this. I took the Ford in to get the oil changed and new brakes and asked them to check the engine. It had been running a little rough, I thought. After carefully checking it over, they determined I probably got a bad batch of gas and it would work itself out. I usually buy the lowest grade unless I’m towing my camper. That’s when I put high test in it…when I need to make sure it runs well and has the most energy.
One late fall day, I was walking down the long drive to get the mail and paper when I noticed an abandoned nest in the ditch. I’m not familiar enough to know what kind of bird made it although it is lined with mud. I know swallows do that. I picked up the little nest and sat it on the end of the old wooden ironing board I use as a perch for the cats and there it sat. That is, until I “decorated” for the holidays. I thought it looked better sitting beside the old hunting boots I found in a barrel downstairs.
This is a big turning point in the year…the first snowflakes. They excite us. The holidays are coming. The turkey is probably thawing in your fridge. You are making your menu. You’ve shopped for the food. You’ve pulled out the recipes. You’ve invited family and friends. The games are scheduled. The marching bands will be descending on New York City any day. The workers are preparing the floats and the giant balloons. Deer season is starting. And here they are…the first flakes of snow.
“Give Thanks”
“Reprise: The Ugly Side of Grief”
“Get your tank filled.”
“A bird’s nest from the farm.”
“Snowflake”