As most of you know, I've been busy the last couple of weeks scanning old family photos, documents, and assorted ephemera onto an external hard drive. As I do this, I file each picture into a folder for the main subject…mostly by family. I started out with noble intentions…scanning each photo individually and labeling it with the names of the subjects. Then it got filed in the appropriate folder. I have three big plastic tubs of pictures. I quickly realized I'll still be sitting here in 2016 if I kept things going at that rate. So I started grouping 3, 6, 9 or more photos with the same people on one scanned document. I am saving them to the appropriate folder and I can go back at my leisure to label them. The originals are being divided in piles and will be sent to the people in the pictures. I am on my last box. This is a project that has been hanging over my head for at least the eleven years since my mom died. I'll be happy to have it done and behind me, but slogging through it isn't easy. You see, as it turns out, Memory Lane has a lot of potholes.
I know we aren't supposed to wish our lives away. We only have one so why can't it always be spent in the glorious days of Spring? I adore Spring. The promise of new life is much more apparent in March than it is when making New Year's resolutions in the darkness of late December. January is nearly over, thank you. February is at least shorter than the other months. And it has Valentine's Day, not that it holds special meaning anymore. But there's at least chocolate involved.
I met a friend for brunch yesterday, which was delightful. We laughed and poked fun at ourselves and each other. We are both too easily sucked into the vortex of winter's gloom so we goaded each other out into a cold snowy Saturday morning for the only thing bound to get our butts off the couch….WAFFLES! Yes, those crunchy, sweet, golden delectable planks of goodness with deep wells full of butter and syrup…..ahhhhhh! Life is better with waffles…and coffee…and lots of laughter. And once our tummies were full, we could each go out into the world and get done what needed doing.
She was "Mom" to all my friends. She was "Mama" to me. She was my friend, my confidant, my cheerleader…and occasionally my adversary. She was generous to a fault. She was stubborn, funny, and terribly naïve to the ways of the world. She was unassuming. I loved that I could make her laugh…no matter what.
I've been going through the family archives and scanning them into my computer. I came across something she had written in her beautiful Spencerian script. I thought I would share it with you here. A little different than the original poem by Saxon White Kessinger but the same great message. (Thanks for the reference, Sharon!)
I have been looking for a place to put my camper. While my uncle has told me there's no real hurry, it seems to be distressing to my aunt to have it on the farm so it's best to move more quickly. I thought I had found a reasonable place not far from one of my cousins, but I've heard from the friend of a friend that there have been meth busts in a couple of the trailers there, so I'm not going anywhere near it! It's best to park on land near the home of an acquaintance, especially around here because there are so many transient oil workers. I drove through an area a month ago where people are renting out spaces in their yards and there might be seven or eight campers surrounding a house. And at $700 a month for each trailer, folks are making a killing. Honestly, a little further north from here looks like the gold rush of California!
A couple of days ago I realized my stress level was getting out of hand. When we make proclamations to do good, we are often attacked by dark forces trying to counteract and regain balance. All energy in the universe has a counterbalance…light/dark, good/evil, Heaven/Hell. My IBS symptoms were raging and my anxiety was dangerously close to being triggered. I felt like I had tears stuck in my throat all the time. I was quickly letting things spiral out of control. To regain my balance, the first thing I did was reach out my hand and ask God to hang on to me and take this all away. The second thing I did was tell all dark energy to get away from me now. Then the third thing I did was invite all things light and good to come rushing back in to fill the void left by the vanishing darkness. Seriously, what had been going on for about 12 hours completely reversed in mere moments. It was astonishing. You have to understand…some of these things are totally new to me. I've never tried that before. I was bowled over that it worked. All I had to do…quite literally…was ask, and it was done. Then, of course…I had to say a hearty thank you!
Oh, my. I went to the farm yesterday. How in the world, after spending the better part of SIX MONTHS going through stuff, selling stuff, sorting stuff, giving stuff away…how in the WORLD do I still have so much STUFF??? The entire upstairs of the cellar house is full of boxes. I have stuff in the basement of the house. I have stuff upstairs. I have stuff in the kitchen. I have stuff in the barn. I started on the back porch. I still had a box of kitchen stuff out there that the cats had taken to sleeping on. I fished out my silverware, washed it, and put it in a drawer in the trailer. The rest goes to Goodwill. Then I loaded up two huge tubs of birdseed. (I bought so much because I thought I was going to be at the farm longer than two months.) I loaded it up to take to my cousin. I fished out three boxes from the cellar house and that was all that fit in the cab of my truck. At this rate, I should have everything out of there by 2019!
I was sitting in church yesterday morning, coffee in hand, reading the bulletin. I came across an item asking for people to give a 3-5 minute testimony during the halftimes of an all day basketball tournament at the local Christian school. Now, lately I have been feeling a call to speak, as evidenced by our recent talk about Victorian salons. But there's no way I could EVER talk for just 3-5 minutes about ANYTHING! No, this feeling was coming on strong in just the first few minutes of church and it had a deeper dynamic to it I couldn't quite put my finger on. The sermon was wonderful. The subject was being grateful for the Blessings we are given. Being BOLDLY grateful…out loud. To give credit where credit is due. To thank God openly.
I slept at least 30 out of 36 hours during my bout with the stomach virus from you-know-where. I woke up for the umpteenth time yesterday at noon and remembered the dream I'd just had. I used to remember my dreams…always. But since losing Mr. Virgo, I'd say I have remembered less than a hand full. Not sure why that is. But this dream was wonderful and I wanted to share it with you.
Darn it. Thursday night I was suddenly struck with an immensely awful GI bug. By 3:00am I nearly called someone to come take me to the ER. But I have a prescription for Zofran, the only anti nausea medicine I can take, so I just hung in there. I could hardly wait till 6:00 when the little restaurant downstairs opened. I called down and they met me at the door with four cans of Sierra Mist and a container of ice. Once I started sipping on that, things settled down. I stayed in bed all day yesterday. Fever, chills, headache. Yuck.
