TREASURE FALLS

· 4 min read
Treasure Falls, Pagosa Springs, Colorado
Day 8, 9, & 10: Grand Adventure - Part 1
Well, as you can tell, the internet doesn't work at the RV park in Pagosa Springs. Hooray for Libraries! I had a beautiful drive down on Saturday. Another Colorado blue blaster day! As I was coming over Poncha Pass I was reminded of the first time Mr. Virgo and I traveled to Pagosa for the job interview that led us to move there. We drove through a blizzard so bad that he watched the GPS and told me when the next turn was coming! Oh my gosh, that had to be the worst conditions I have ever driven in since moving here in 1986. When we finally got to Pagosa, he had to force his door open because there was about an inch of ice frozen over the whole car. He had to spray it all down to melt off enough to open the other doors. Ahhh, the memories!
This cold or allergies or whatever it is has really kicked my hiney this weekend and I slept a lot. Not a bad thing, but I'm not doing the adventurous things I had hoped to do. I went to the hot springs yesterday for a soak (NOT as clean as the ones in Glenwood, for those of you who are interested.). Then I had one of the best massages I have ever had! I got some lunch and went back to the trailer and thought I would just lay down for a few minutes to read and 5 HOURS later I woke up. I believe I am on the other side of the worst of it and things are looking up from here!
Today, I met my friend Jenny for lunch. What a treat! We worked together for the year we lived here and it was so nice to catch up. She told me another gal we worked with, Sherri, worked at the bakery so I stopped to visit her while I had a nice cup of tea. (Oh, by the way...that was while it was SNOWING outside! Only lasted for 5 minutes, but still...it was white stuff coming out of the sky where there is no earthly reason for it to on May 20th!) Such a nice day.
I have been thinking a lot about the grief process and have come to the conclusion it is much like childbirth. Once you get into it, you can only move forward. And, you can read all about it and take classes and talk to a hundred people, but when it is your turn, you do what comes naturally, just like you do when giving birth. I no longer feel the crushing pain I felt initially. I don't cry as much as I did. I can think of something my husband said or that we did together and smile now, at least more often than not. I was talking with my friend at lunch about this today and she shared something she felt when she was grieving the loss of someone she loved. She said when she got to the point where I am right now, she was ready to join the human race again...to move past that initial phase of numbness. But she was concerned about what others might think. Would they think she was being callous and unfeeling? Would they think she maybe didn't care for her loved one the way she said she had? Would they think she had forgotten him or was denying her true feelings? Maybe she didn't grieve the right way or the length of time that was considered appropriate? I can relate to this. I am ready to stop rending my garments and live my life and explore and figure out who I want to be this time around. What do I want my legacy to look like? Do I really need this big house to rattle around in and spend a fortune on upkeep, not to mention the time and energy it takes to maintain it? Do I really need all this...stuff? This in no way means I have forgotten Mr. Virgo. It doesn't mean that I don't wish with all my heart that things were different and he could share this journey with me. What it means is, HE died...I didn't. And he would kick my behind into next week if he thought I was sitting home in the dark while the world went on without me.
So, that's where I am today. Looking towards the horizon ahead of me, wondering what is over the next hill that I can learn from and experience. I am so thrilled you are traveling with me! Today's picture is of the mist coming off of Treasure Falls near Pagosa Springs.
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COLLEGIATE PEAKS

Collegiate Peaks, Buena Vista, Colorado

Here’s a view of the Collegiate Peaks without the trailer in the way. Isn’t this stunning? This was taken Day 6 of the Grand Adventure, Part 1.

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DAYS 6 & 7 OF THE GRAND ADVENTURE

· 3 min read
Small Sportsmen Classic travel trailer in front of snowy Collegiate Peaks, Colorado.

Days 6 & 7 of the Grand Adventure, Part One:

I got a good early start yesterday and drove to Salida. Stopped at Mr. Virgo’s and my favorite breakfast place on that stretch of road. We used to stop there all the time when we lived in Pagosa Springs. What a gorgeous, sunny, blue-blaster day! I stopped and took this photo of TOW-Wanda parked at the scenic overlook near Buena Vista. Those are the Collegiate Peaks behind her.

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DAY 4 & 5 OF THE GRAND ADVENTURE

Internet is spotty so I am posting by phone. Yesterday was a fun day with Daughter #2…shopping, lunch, dropped off the computer with the Geek Squad at Best Buy and bought a new photo printer/scanner. Today, I am waiting for the yoga studio to open for 8:00 meditation. Maybe #2 will be up when that’s over. Then we can do a yoga class. I am spending the rest of the day with my creations! Even though I miss Mr. Virgo terribly, this is the first time in my life I have been free. It’s an extraordinary feeling.

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THE GRAND ADVENTURE

The snow is melting in the high country and I am off on an adventure…The Grand Adventure, to be exact. I tried reading self-help grief books and they just did not speak to me so I am going to go out and grieve in my own way…one campfire at a time! My first stop has been in Denver to visit with my family and get my camper stocked up for my trip. My mail is being held. My neighbor’s are keeping an eye out on the house. My only responsibility it to me…to listen to my heart and follow where it leads. TOW-Wanda!

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TOW-WANDA'S MAIDEN VOYAGE: 4/22/13

Ford Expedition and Sportsmen Classic travel trailer by a lake in Rifle Falls State Park, Colorado.

Here she is… “TOW-Wanda!” on her maiden voyage! I got home from church yesterday and was faced with a ton of paperwork and sunny skies. So? What’s a girl to do? Why…go camping, of course! This is at Rifle Gap Reservoir State Park, about 20 miles from home. I figured my first trip or two should be local till I get the hang of things. What a hoot! It was pretty nippy so the furnace kicked on several times during the night. I had the fridge turned down too low and woke up to frozen OJ this morning. Also, I want to add some padding to the lower bunk bed because it was a bit too firm for my taste. Other than that, a perfect first-time experience!

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WHAT A DIFFERENCE A DAY MAKES

· 5 min read
Man and woman dancing.

When I last posted here, my world was still in one piece. It was a Friday. There was a blizzard. I worked in the office that week instead of getting anything done in the studio. I went out the day before and bought an Expedition so Mr. Virgo and I could travel in comfort and enjoy life instead of waiting till retirement. He texted me that morning to tell me he loved me and to see what I was up to. At about 2 in the afternoon, he called to see what was for supper. As he always did, he called me at 5:30-6:00 to tell me he was just leaving the parking garage. We talked till he got halfway home then I scooted into the kitchen and got the food going. I sat back down in the living room and called him back, just to hear his voice. I told him to let me know when he got to the bridge and I would get back in the kitchen to put the finishing touches on his favorite dish. Then, back to my perch in the living room to watch for his headlights. When I saw him turn into the driveway, I jumped up, flung open the door, waited till he was out of the car so he could hear me, and yelled “BABY!”. He turned to me and smiled and said, “Hey, honey!” I told him, “Get yer butt in here!” and he said, “I’m a tryin’.” He came in the door, tired, but grinning from ear to ear and said, “Mmmmm, that smells great, babe!” and I pretended to blush and said “Come on, let’s get your coat off so I can give you a big hug!” Every night, same thing. Never, EVER got tired of that man’s homecoming. It was an EVENT!

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THE FIRST FIRST

Today would have been our 6th Wedding Anniversary. I am saddened by my own loss and empathize the pain others are feeling for their losses. Now, I get to make a choice. I can lay here in this bed and cry all day, or I can reach out to those who were with us that beautiful spring day and celebrate the gifts we were given! Ok, maybe just 5 more minutes, then I’ll get up.

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