“Mat boards form a bridge to carry pipeline equipment across creeks and up steep slopes.”

On September 13, 2000, David Case wrote an article in Mother Jones Magazine about West Virginia’s Mountain (Party) Mama…Denise Giardina. Ms. Giardina is an author and was sick of seeing the politicians of West Virginia selling off the soul of this beautiful land. She even tried to run for governor by forming her own political party…the Mountain Party. She was born in West Virginia, raised in a coal camp, and has written books on the failing coal industry.

Mr. Virgo has been gone over five years now. In those five years, I have had two or three dreams of him. I’ve wanted more. I begged God for more back in the first couple of years. Just one more conversation. One more hug. Hear his voice one last time. Unfortunately, I had erased all of his voicemails just three days before he died. I had a couple of messages on the answering machine at home, but he didn’t sound happy because he was trying to reach me and kept getting the machine instead. Those just make me sad because he really left great voicemails. I hadn’t heard his voice in so long. I wasn’t sure what he sounded like anymore. Then...he came to me in a dream a couple of nights ago.

In the dream, Mr. FixIt and I were in Florida at a flea market. You know, the kind with the roof but the sides are all open to allow air flow? It was really crowded but no one was looking at each other. We were all busy looking at merchandise. I walked around a small group of women. I was looking down and I saw a pair of familiar men’s shoes. Rockports. With the man in them. I slowly raised my eyes and saw the gray dress pants, the black leather belt, the crisply ironed long sleeved shirt. It was a pale blue. The tie a stylish navy with slight flecks of red. I was so taken by the familiarity of the clothing that it took me a moment to comprehend what was happening. Suddenly, I jerked my eyes upward and there he was! That shock of meticulously groomed silver hair, wire-rimmed glasses. Curiously…he didn’t have a beard. He was clean-shaven when he died. I assumed that must carry over into the afterlife.

“Mosaic of Starry Night by VanGogh”

Every day since Mr. Virgo died, God has handed me a small tile and asked me to put it on a wall in my mind. At first, they were all shades of gray…darkness…shadows…swirls of inky blackness. I dutifully placed each one on the wall as He gave them to me. They made no sense. It was sheer chaos…day after day after day.

“National Widows Day - May 3rd”

National Widows Day sprung from Widow Wednesday…a grassroots program designed to assist widows and widowers in the community with small tasks normally completed by the late spouse. Widow Wednesday was originally founded by Jimmy Chouteau, a Kansas City insurance agent. Part of his job was working with retirees, many of whom were left on their own and were struggling to do things around the house while also dealing with grief. Sometimes it was as easy as screwing in a lightbulb or helping write checks. And sometimes it was just spending some time in conversation. Jimmy and his family took time form is busy insurance agency to devote Wednesdays to assisting widows and widowers in need.

“Iris on the OBX”

Those of us who have borne children understand the pain of childbirth. It is excruciating while you’re going through it, but once the baby comes the pain shifts. It doesn’t seem quite so bad. It’s hard to remember exactly what the worst contractions or the moment of delivery actually felt like. The fact there is this tiny new life to focus on eases our memories of the pain, mostly out of necessity and sleep deprivation. We just don’t have time to think about it. But…what about grief?

“A power washer in use.”

It never ceases to amaze me at how God works in my life. He has His hand in every area of my life and I can prove it.

First…I had a little medical issue come up. Something we’ve been watching for a while and now it’s to the point of having to investigate further. When I first heart that news, I must admit, a flutter of fear went through me. That was the day “Betty” wrote to me and instructed me to WALK STRONG. To profess Victory over my circumstances because the enemy wiggles in when we profess fear, anger, anxiety. Ever since that moment, I declared there was nothing wrong with me. I gave it to God. Then Sunday night I went to Revival and had Pastor Matt and the folks gathered to pray over me and anoint my head with oil. He declared that I would go to the doctor and everything was going to be benign, that the tumors would even shrivel up.

“A Big Southern Breakfast”

Ok, I literally ate whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted it on this trip and I think I made the right choice. Life is too short. I don’t eat like this all the time…it was vacation!

The last hurrah was in Williamsburg, VA at the Capitol Pancake House. That name alone drew me in. But when I saw the parking lot was full, I knew we had stumbled on something good. I didn’t have to even taste this to know it was going to be over the top delicious. (This photo didn’t catch the short stack of pancakes on the side! Wow!)

“Sunset over the Sound, OBX”

After watching the twenty day forecast for the Outer Banks, Mr. FixIt and I were fully prepared for a cold, cloudy, wet week at the beach. As it turned out, the weather predictions were almost entirely incorrect. We had one day that rained all day. The first day we arrived, I had to wear my down coat on the beach. One afternoon, we had a really great thunderstorm. And, that was it. We couldn’t have asked for a better week. Yesterday was around 70 degrees. A gentle breeze came off the ocean, but it was still warm enough to sit out in the sun in a bathing suit…knitting! I got a little sunburned in the spots I missed with the sunscreen, but overall, it was perfect.

“Knitting Socks with Four Double Point Needles:

My second marriage fell apart in January 2000. In June of 2001, I opened a small needlework shop in Glenwood Springs called Needles & Pins. I lost my shirt with that business. Twice, actually. But, like buying TOW-Wanda and camping helped me heal after losing Mr. Virgo…that little shop helped me heal and find my long lost self-confidence after my 21 year marriage ended. I mostly sold cross-stitch supplies, a little needlepoint, some gift items, and eventually branched out and sold some yarn.

“Wild Horse of Corolla Beach”

Oh, my gosh…what a gorgeous day it was yesterday on the Outer Banks! Sunny and 73, it was filled with sun, sand, and surf. We headed to the north end of the island where you can drive out on the beach for miles. There are wild horses up there and although we seemed to drive forever, we only saw two. It was stunning (and a little nerve-wracking) driving so close to the thunderous waves. Mr. FixIt has told me stories about people getting stuck in the sand and I was sure we would, but he is an excellent driver, has done it many times, and I trust him completely. The nice weather drew crowds to the beach and no one had a bit of trouble.